“I told myself I was being honorable. Not making you choose between me and your kid and your kid’s future. The truth is I was a coward. I made a decision for you that was not mine to make. I assume I knew what you were thinking, what you were going to do, and then I hid from you. Straight up hid.”
Tessa looked out at the lake. A pelican was making a slow looping circle over the water. The willows had finished going chartreuse and were starting to settle into proper green. The willows had been leafed out for almost a week now and she had not noticed until exactly this moment.
“I would’ve liked to be asked what I was thinking,” she said.
“I know.”
“I was going to make my decision either way regardless of what you said. But I would’ve liked to talk it over with you.”
“I know that, too. Now.”
She took a breath and let it out. “Charlotte told me you called her and told her I needed my sisters.”
He looked down at his hands. “She wasn’t supposed to tell.”
“Charlotte hasn’t kept a single secret in her entire life.”
“Noted for future reference,” he replied dryly.
“When did you call her?”
“Yesterday afternoon. After Reno told me you’d said no to your mother.”
Tessa sat with that for a moment. He’d called Charlotte yesterday. If he’d decided to stay completely out her life and never come back, he wouldn’t have bothered to call Charlotte. That meant he’d decided sometime before yesterday afternoon. Before he ever finished her chair. Before he sneaked across the property line in the dark to set it on her porch. He’d been coming back already.
“So, what did you figure out in the past two weeks?” she asked.
He exhaled heavily. “I figured out that Lexi never accepted me for the man I was. As soon as we got married, she set out to change me. Make me into the man she wanted. But we were very different people. Not just in what we wanted but in what we believed in and what was important to each of us. We were never going to work out as a couple. We were just too young and inexperienced to realize it.”
She sensed he wasn’t done yet and held her tongue.
Sure enough, he said slowly, “That stuff she said about me not having anything left for a woman wasn’t meant to hurt me. She just didn’t understand me any more than I understood her.”
“Then why did you listen to her for so long?”
“I was punishing myself for failing her. I didn’t understand why or how I failed her, but I convinced myself it must’ve been my fault because I always thought she was perfect.”
“And now?”
“Now I know she just a person living her life and doing her best. I expect she thought she was doing the right thing trying to change me into someone I wasn’t.”
“Did you figure out anything else?” Tessa asked.
“I figured out that I’m okay with being the man I am. I’m not perfect by a long shot, but I love my work and it makes me happy to help other folks. The trick isn’t the change to be what someone else wants. It’s to find someone who thinks you’re fine just the way you are.”
“Amen,” she said quietly but with deep conviction.
“I figured out one more thing,” he added soberly.
“Which is?”
“I’m miserable without you and Makayla in my life.” He looked into her eyes, and she saw nothing in his blue eyes but naked honesty and two long weeks of heartache.
“Dillon Steele,” she said firmly.
“Tessa Lawrence.”
“You are an absolute idiot.”
