“I didn’t do anything right. I was an idiot.”
“We all make mistakes. We all have things we regret,” Max says. “That’s what makes us human.”
He meets my eyes, and from his pained expression, it’s clear we’re thinking about the same thing. Our biggest regret.
It’s not something we like to talk about, but maybe hearing it would help Callie.
CHAPTER 44
CALLIE
The men are giving each other one of their twin looks. Several times, I’ve noticed them communicating without words. Everyone does it, of course, but they seem to express volumes with just their eyes.
This time, their eyes are sad.
I look back and forth between them. “What is it?”
Miles trails his fingers back and forth over my leg. “We had a friend,” he says. He glances at Max again, as if making sure his brother will be okay with where the conversation is heading.
Max nods. It’s almost imperceptible, but I catch it.
“He was our best friend in elementary school. The three of us did everything together. We used to say we were triplets rather than twins.”
I hope Miles is going to tell me they got in a fight and that’s why they aren’t friends anymore, but the heaviness in his tone warns me that this story is going to be heartbreaking.
“We were still friends in high school, but we had different classes and played different sports, and we hung out with different people.”
When Miles’s pause stretches on, Max takes over. “He got involved with some people he shouldn’t have. He had a girlfriend who was bad news. We suspected his new friends were into some bad stuff, but we thought our friend was too smart to get mixed up in that himself.
“We should have talked to him. We should have asked questions, but we didn’t. We were so busy with our own lives that we didn’t know anything had happened to him until we were sitting in class on a Monday morning and there was an announcement that grief counselors were available because a student had died over the weekend.
“He took a lethal overdose, almost certainly unintentionally. Illegal drugs, smuggled into the country, trafficked by greedy criminals, and provided to him by his new friends.”
“I’m so sorry.” My heart is breaking into a million pieces for the two of them.
Miles’s voice is thick. “We should have seen it coming, and we should have stopped it before it happened.”
“There’s no way you could have known what would happen! It wasn’t your fault.”
“We should have been better friends,” Max says. “That’s what we regret.”
My eyes are filled with tears at the thought of all their pain. I pull Miles into a long hug, wanting to send comfort through my bodyand into his own. When I break away, I wrap my arms around Max and do the same.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I repeat.
The three of us sit there with our own thoughts, and though the mood is sad and heavy, I’m a little lighter because they’re with me.
We’re all just human, doing our best. Sometimes our best isn’t good enough, and all we can do is try to do better next time. It’s not easy, and it still hurts, but maybe it can hurt a little less if we’re there for one another.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
As Miles nods, there’s a knock on the door.
Max gets to his feet. “I nearly forgot. I ordered room service.”
Miles quickly disappears into the bathroom just before a waiter pushes a cart into the room. I’m assuming that Max ordered dinner for himself, until the waiter leaves and Max uncovers the plates to reveal three different desserts.
“Miles said you didn’t have a chance to have dessert tonight.”
