I shrug, avoiding his eyes. “Found out a few days ago. Didn’t tell her until this morning.”
“Wait,” Asher says, stepping closer. “Let me get this straight. You knew she wasn’t your sister, but you let her think she was while you did whatever the hell you did.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” I growl.
“Uncomplicate it for us,” Cassian says, his voice deadly quiet. He’s standing now, arms crossed over his chest, all pretense of working out abandoned.
I load plates onto the bar, the metallic clang echoing through the empty gym. “I wanted to see how far she’d go thinking we were related. How much she’d fight it. How much she’d hate herself for wanting me anyway.”
“That’s fucked up, even for you,” Asher says, the humor completely gone from his voice.
I lie back on the bench and grip the bar, pushing it up with enough force that my shoulders strain. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” Cassian echoes, stepping forward to spot me. “There’s no maybe about it. You manipulated her in a pretty fucked up way.”
I complete another rep, focusing on the burn in my chest. “She was already Chosen. Already marked. What difference does it make when she found out?”
“All the fucking difference,” Cassian says, his hands hovering near the bar as I push through another rep. “You let her think she was committing some kind of moral sin. That’s psychological torture.”
I rack the weight and sit up, wiping sweat from my brow. “Look, I didn’t come here for a lecture on ethics from two guys who’ve done worse shit than I have.”
“I’ve never made someone think they were fucking their brother,” Asher counters, sitting on a nearby bench. “That’s a special kind of cruelty, Devereux.”
The words hit harder than they should. I stand up, pacing the length of the weight room. “You don’t understand. She’s been fighting since day one. Always thinking she’s better than the Society, better than our traditions. Better than me. I needed to break that.”
“And did you?” Cassian asks quietly. “Break her?”
“She tried to claw her own skin off,” I say suddenly, the words spilling out before I can stop them. “In my shower. After I...after she...” I run a hand through my hair, frustrated. “She was fucking bleeding. Scrubbing herself raw.”
Both of them stare at me, the weight room suddenly silent except for the hum of the air conditioning.
“Fuck,” Cassian breathes.
“Yeah, fuck is right,” I mutter. “She thought she was committing some kind of sin. Thought she needed to bleed it out.”
“Because you let her think you were her brother while you were getting your dick wet,” Asher says, dabbing at his lip with the corner of his shirt. “That’s pretty fucked up, even for you.”
“I didn’t fuck her,” I snap. “Not exactly.”
“Don’t be pedantic, Luci.” I roll my eyes at the dumb ass nickname.
“Well incest is generally frowned upon even among us rich bastards. So the real question is why the hell your father thought she was his?” Cassian points out.
“Yeah, no shit. It’s the million dollar question along with why the fuck am I so goddamn obsessed with her and can’t let her fucking go?”
“Mm. I can look into it,” Cassian says, voice low enough I have to strain to hear it. The Crowes are the family line that Black Crown uses when it needs to find out things members have hidden or are hiding. They can move easily between us, between the regular folk, and everything in between. They’re like the boogeymen.
I nod, because he’s liable to find something easier. A loose thread that I can tug and unravel easily. All I need is to fill in one blank and I can’t think straight enough to do it myself right now.
Chapter 18
Seraphina
I’ve spent the last week trying to scrub his taste from my mouth, but it fucking lingers like a ghost I can’t exorcise.
The chapel is empty when I slip inside, thank fuck. The last thing I need is Father Richards asking why I look like death warmed over or why I haven’t been to a single class since Lucien dropped his little DNA bombshell and sped away like the coward he is. Seven days of silence. Seven days of me hiding in my room, staring at walls, barely eating, barely sleeping.
Seven days of not being his sister.
