Mason gawks at Pecan. “No fucking way. I hate her! I literally detest her. She’s a horrible human being and I?—”
“Nah.” Pecan waggles his fork. “You talk about her too much to hate her.”
“Methinks the jock doth protest too much,” I joke.
“He’s just whining because she has that sports column “Between Periods” inThe Daily Dukeand she picks on him,” Gregg sings before smacking a kiss on Mason’s cheek.
Pecan crows, “Is she mean to you, Mason?” His lips pout. “Is the meanie-weanie baby journalist howwible to Mason Dwakey?”
He flips us all the bird, making sure it hits each one of us, before swiping at his face. “Can I help it that I’m the target of her one-woman hate campaign?”
Joker snorts. “That’s a little extreme.”
“Don’t see the rest of you being called out for having bad hair days,” he bitches. “And before you start, Gregg, I wasn’t sniffing around Juniper. I don’t sniff around. I’m not a dog.”
“Says who?” Pecan whoops. “And I’d howl around Juniper too if Iweren’t a one-woman man.” He rubs his nails against his chest. “Ain’t that right, D?”
“That’s right, Peeks,” I approve.
“If you don’t have a thing for Juniper then why did you just turn red, Mason?”
“Fuck off, Joker. This has nothing to do with you.”
“I think it has everything to do with me,” he disagrees. “Since Juniper’s my sister.”
That has each of us gaping at one another.
“You never told us you had a sister,” Gregg sputters.
Even Alec looks shocked, and as he’s the Dukes’ gossip king, that tells me Joker’s purposely kept this info under wraps.
“Why would I? She has nothing to do with the team and I wanna keep it that way.
“Anyway, it’s not my fault that you fuckers think Joker is on my birth certificate. Wedoshare a freakin’ last name. So, Mason, I repeat, why are you doing a great impression of a tomato?”
“If she has nothing to do with the team, then how does Mason know her?” Pecan inserts.
“Pecan, she just poured you a fresh cup of coffee.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “How do you think he knows her?”
“Ugh, that’s boring. I wanted something tawdry.”
“‘Tawdry?'” I hoot. “Someone learned a word.”
“Hailey got me some ‘word of the day’ toilet paper.”
Ahh, so that’s how he knew ‘penchant.’
The table snickers but Mason admits, “Juniper and I are in the intramural volleyball league.”
“You wear short-shorts?” Pecan blinks. “Guys, we gotta see this. Everyone knows Mason has the peachiest ass in the locker room!”
“Hey!” Joker complains. “Mine’s better.”
As they bicker over who has the nicest butt, Pecan declares around a massive bite of pancakes: “I’ll judge them all tomorrow in the showers. Can’t be fairer than that.”
Ah, homoeroticism. Delightful.
Still, it’d be more attractive if I wasn’t watching him eat. My nose wrinkles. “Your mom’s going to be so disappointed when she sees you’ve devolved into a toddler, Pecan. You’ve started talking and eating at the same time again.”
