Another moment ruined.
I stay for a while to be polite but eventually leave the pool to go have a nap in my elegant and air-conditioned room before getting ready for dinner. Collapsing on the big squishy white duvet of my bed, I turn on my side and close my eyes, falling asleep in a state of hopeful trepidation, thinking about the elated look on Ryan’s face when I told him that I was pleased he was here.
I wear a yellow dress for dinner—it’s got spaghetti straps, a fitted bodice with a scoop neckline, and a flowing skirt that swishes satisfactorily around the top of my calves as I walk. I complement it with gold earrings and a pair of wedges that have a delicate gold strap around the ankle, and bold red lipstick. I tie my hair back in a loose ponytail so it’s off my neck in the heat, but not too severe around my face. Finally, as recommended by Mimi, I apply some gold highlighter along my collarbones.
Everyone is already sitting around the table in the restaurant when I come downstairs, and they all look up as I enter the room, but Ryan pushes his chair back and jumps to his feet. As I move round the table to take the free chair next to his, I notice Sadie raising her eyebrows at him with undisguised interest as he pulls out my chair for me.
Now that we’re all seated, the chef enters the dining room and introduces himself, explaining our menu of local produce, which will begin with a selection of hors d’oeuvres before a starter of squid tagliatelle or Florentine dumplings, followed by a main of slow-cooked lamb with artichokes or spinach ricotta gnocchi, and a dessert of almond and raspberry mousse, each course accompanied with a wine pairing chosen by the hotel’s sommelier.
“I’m not sure I’ll fit into this dress after this meal,” I whisper to Ryan once the chef has finished and left us to it.
He smiles, his eyes flickering down my dress and back up again. “That is averynice dress.” He hesitates before quietly adding, “You look beautiful.”
I’m so flustered, I don’t know what to say, and I’m glad when Sadie asks Ryan what he thinks of the hotel so far, so that I have a moment to gather my thoughts. I feel so aware of him throughout the meal: where our hands are placed on the table, how close our legs are to brushing against each other, how he looks at me after he speaks, as though seeking my approval.
After dinner, we’re guided to the poolside bar, which is romantically lit by lamps and candles dotted around the tables. The water is inviting at night, a shimmering magenta-blue thanks to the purple lights set underwater along its walls. We’re served the hotel’s signature cocktails, and, on top of the wine from dinner, our group is getting tipsier and louder.
Ryan is sitting opposite me now, and I can feel him watching as I fall into conversation with Sadie, who is slurring her words a little as she enthusiastically tells me how much sheadoresMimi and how she’sso happythat we’ve now met after hearing all about me.
After assuring Sadie that she and I are 100 percent good friends now, I announce that I’m heading to bed as it’s getting late. The others say good night but don’t really acknowledge mydeparture. I don’t notice that Ryan is behind me until I get to the elevator.
“Hey,” I say, surprised at his presence, and hold the door for him.
“Hey,” he replies, pressing the button to our floor.
We’re both facing the shiny silver doors as they slowly close, and stand next to each other in tense silence the whole way up to the third floor. It must only take a few seconds, but standing in the lift so close to him, our fingertips centimeters from brushing against each other, it feels like time stands still.
I keep my eyes fixed ahead on the doors, refusing to glance at him. My heart is thudding so hard against my chest, I’m scared he’ll be able to hear it above the soft elevator music.
He allows me to step out first, and I walk toward my room, hyperaware of his soft footsteps behind me. Slowing down as I reach my door, I decide enough is enough and it’s time to talk to him properly. I spin round suddenly to face him, but the alcohol and the heels have me a little off balance. He grips my arm and steadies me just in time.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yes, thanks. Sorry.” I take a deep breath. “Ryan, I should say… uh… well, about last weekend. I’m really sorry for running out on you like that.”
“Don’t be,” he says, his eyes dropping to the floor. “You were doing the right thing.”
“I should have broken up with Liam a while ago.”
“Harper—”
“No, I need to say this. We’ve needed to talk all week and—”
“I know and I want to talk about it,” he insists, glancing to the lift. “But maybe we should go into a room? Just so it’s not so… public. Some of the other journos are on this floor, too, and they could come up any minute.”
“You’re right,” I say, realizing that this is a bit of an awkward conversation to have in a hotel corridor. “Come into mine.”
He waits patiently as I fumble with the door and then follows me into the bedroom, immediately groaning as he spots the contents of my weekend bag spilling out onto the floor.
“I bet the first thing you do when you arrive at a hotel is unpack your bag and put everything away in the wardrobe,” I say, sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning down to undo the straps of my shoes. “Even though we’re only here for two days, I bet you’ve put everything away neatly, hanging it all up or folding it away.”
“Of course,” he says, sitting down in one of the plush velvet armchairs by the window. “That way I can find everything I’ve brought with me and nothing is crumpled.”
“You know what you need to do, Ryan?”
“What’s that?”
“Live a little.”
