It’s hardly a crazy coincidence when Niamh and Freddie listed three recommended hotels for guests on the invitation, but still. There weretwoother hotels Jamie could have been booked into, but no, he’s at this one with me.
Why is that a problem? one might ask.
It’s a problem because at some point I have to runnakedup and down the corridor and I can’t riskanyoneI know either seeing it or hearing about it. I’m going to have to pick my timing very carefully tonight.
This is such a stupid task. Maybe I won’t do it. I just won’t do it. Anyone would understand if I didn’t complete it. I mean, it’s only Leo and Ruby who would know, anyway. I will tell them it was wildly inappropriate in a busy hotel on a corridor of people who know Niamh and Freddie. I couldn’t possibly complete the task without potentially traumatizing someone for life. And as much as these tasks are important to me, they’re not worth that.
So, it’s not like I’m giving up or anything.
It just wouldn’t be the right thing to do.
“Are you all right?” Jamie asks, slinging his bag on the floor at his feet while we wait our turn to check in.
“Yes. Why?”
“You look stressed.”
“I was thinking about something I have to do.” I brush it off with a wave of my hand. “It’s not important.”
He nods and then gestures for me to go to the reception desk first as the person in front of us moves off. I soon discover with great relief that I’m on the fourth floor and he is on the first. We arrange to drop our bags and then meet down in the lobby in ten minutes.
When I get to my room, I put some deodorant on, because I always feel gross after being on an airplane, and then touch up my makeup and spritz on a little perfume. I also accessorize a bit nicer than on the plane, adding some earrings and selecting a pair of sunglasses. I’m bound to take photos of my tour around Dublin, so I want to look nice for those.
And I want to look nice for Jamie.
Ugh.Oh my god,no.Stop it.
Jamie is waiting for me in reception, and leaps up when he sees me.
“Right, how about we start with a stroll around Trinity College, because it’s such a nice day, then on to the Guinness factory, which is meant to have a really nice view of the city,” he suggests, before pausing and looking me up and down. “You smell nice.”
“Don’t look so surprised when you say that,” I say, my face flaming with embarrassment. I hope he doesn’t think I’ve put perfume on for his benefit.
I have a bit, though.
Stop it.
“I want to go to Dublin Castle,” I inform him in a voice that I realize sounds a bit like a snippy teacher’s.
My tone gives me a sudden flashback of Matthew and me at Covent Garden one weekend when we ended up having an argument, because he said I was being too stubborn. We had a list of things we needed to do before meeting some friends later that afternoon and I wanted to go into the shops around the square totick things off, but Matthew wanted to sit on the steps and watch a juggling street performer.
“We have so much to do,” I moaned, scrolling through my phone. “Come on, we don’t have time for this.”
“I hate it when you put on that voice,” Matthew huffed.
“What voice?”
“The teacher voice. You do it when you’re annoyed at me.”
“I’m not annoyed at you,” I said, getting really annoyed at him. “We can’t afford to waste any more time, that’s all.”
“It’s not wasting time, Freya. It’s nice to enjoy the weekends.” He shook his head and sighed, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Come on then. Let’s go and do your list.”
I remember feeling irritated by him for most of the afternoon, and then later feeling guilty, because he was right. Weekends are so precious; it was silly to waste them on tedious jobs. Life is short and all that, I said when I apologized.
I imagine it was behavior like that and days like those that helped him make his ultimate decision we weren’t suited.
But thinking back on it now, the jobs on that list were necessary. They were buying things for our home; picking up gifts for our friends’ birthdays; one of the tasks I remember that day was to buy an anniversary card for his parents. All those things are important to the life you lead. Life is short, that I was right about in my apology. But I’d also like to look back and know I put in the work to make others feel special. Sometimes, that means you need to put on a teacher’s voice to get things done on a Saturday.
