“I’m fine! It’s really not a big deal, Dad,” I insisted with a cheerful expression. “And it’s not your fault! The bus was waiting and everything, so it’s not like I was stranded. It’s good to be back. Come on then, Adrian”—I ruffled my brother’s hair—“you can spend the way home telling me how much you missed me.”
With the subject successfully brushed over, we headed to get fish-and-chips, and Dad’s mood lifted as I filled them in on the fun parts of the trip. Mum sent me a breezy message saying she was sorry that our plan hadn’t worked out but she couldn’t wait to spend time with me soon, whenever that might be.
But she didn’t call at all that week, not once, to check that I was okay. That’s what really stung me: not her absurd lateness, but the fact that she seemed absolutely clueless about how it would make me feel.
And it still stings now when I think about it. All these years later.
The anger fuels my walk to Ruby and Leo’s flat and I’m there in no time.
“Why do you have crazy eyes?” Ruby asks on opening the door.
“I just bumped into Akin.”
“Shit.”
“And then I got a phone call from my mum.”
“Fuck.”
“She said, ‘At times like this, a person needs their mother.’”
“I was going to pour you a glass of wine, but tell me if you want the bottle,” she says wisely, standing aside so I can barrel through the door.
“Hey, Freya,” Leo calls from the kitchen, waving at me in his oven gloves as I hang up my coat. “Did I just hear you say you bumped into Akin? What was that like?”
“He looked like he wanted to melt into the pavement,” I reply, coming over to give him a hug.
“Did you ever hear from him?” Ruby asks, pouring me a hefty glass of red.
“Not one word.” I slump down on their sofa, gratefully accepting the glass of wine from Ruby, taking a sip before continuing. “Thanks so much for having me over! How are you two? How’s your week going?”
“We have no news,” Ruby says, coming to sit next to me, offering me a bowl of crisps to snack on. “Except for the fact that Leo went swimming once this week and now he thinks he’s Michael Phelps.”
“I’ve bought some new goggles,” Leo informs me proudly.
“Cool.” I nod. “I didn’t consider swimming when coming up with a new hobby.”
“Swimming is too much hassle,” Ruby opines, leaning back on the sofa. “There’s so much pressure to keep the pace when you’re in your designated lane. Last time I went, I kept getting overtaken and that was in the slowest lane possible.”
Leo chuckles. “Ruby brought the average age of the slow lane down a couple of decades.”
Ruby glares at him. “New goggles do not mean you’re a pro. So you pipe down and focus on the lasagna, please.” She sighs and then moves the focus back to me. “Are you okay after your phone call with your mum? Sounds intense.”
“It’s like she’s on another planet. She has no awareness of anything. In her little bubble with Evan, she feels as though she can get away with saying whatever she wants. Just because my wedding was canceled does not mean she gets to shower me in motherly love.”
“Did you say that to her?”
“No, course not.” I shrug. “I told her I was fine and that I had to go. She’s a nightmare.”
“Maybe you should tell her how you actually feel.”
“Yeah, because that would change everything.” I roll my eyes. “Trust me, there’s no point. Anyway, let’s not waste any more time talking about my mother. Or Akin. Please tell me something lovely about your lives. Besides the swimming, of course.”
“Can we just cheers to you bumping into Akin and handling it like a boss?” Ruby proposes.
“I’ll cheers to that,” Leo adds, rushing over with his freshly poured wine.
“How do you know I handled it like a boss?” I laugh.
