I sit up, my heart hammering against my ribs. “When Sasha introduced us first time… it wasn’t raining.”
Devlin shakes his head, his eyes fixed on me. “No. I saw you before that. We were driving away from the house, and you had just come back. It started to rain. You pulled your hood down and tilted your head back to look at the sky. Then you turned, and I saw your eyes. It seemed like you looked right through the car window at me.”
He bows his head slightly, his voice cracking. “And I suddenly thought…I’m no longer alone on earth. I didn’t have to be the ‘only one’ anymore, ‘always alone’ anymore. Because there’s you. It killed something inside me and gave birth to something new. Even if I never spoke to you. Even if I never touched you. It was enough that you existed. There was just so muchlifein your eyes. The emptiness inside me… it was fading away.”
Tears are streaming down my face now, hot and silent.
The depth of his isolation and the sheer weight of the obsession he’s been carrying… it’s so overwhelming.
“I used to dream about you,” I whisper. “Even when I thought you hated me.”
Devlin looks at me with a harsh, desperate resolve. “Do you think… you’re ready to be with me?”
“Devlin,” I breathe, “Yes.”
I take Gerald from his frozen hands, setting the turtle in a temporary basin with some water.
When I turn back, Devlin hasn’t moved. He’s shivering now, his eyes dark and glazed.
“Let’s get you warm,” I say, stepping toward him. “You need a shower—”
“No.” He catches my gaze, his eyes looking drunk with need. “I can’t take it anymore. I won’t be able to stand it if I don’t touch you right now.”
I rush to the door, slamming it shut and clicking the lock. Before I can even turn around, he’s on me.
He pins me against the wood, his mouth crashing into mine, his tongue invading with a frantic, possessive heat.
He grabs both of my wrists, pinning them above my head, forcing my body to arch against his wet, cold clothes.
“Devlin,” I moan, the electricity of his touch making my vision blur.
He’s overflowing with a desperate, life-altering energy.
He grabs my ankles, hoisting me up and throwing me onto the mattress, and then he’s piling on top of me, his weight the only thing in the world that feels real.
14
Chapter 14
The air in the room is still thick with the scent of rain as Devlin moves over me.
His movements are chaotic, a frantic map of kisses and gentle nibbles that leave my skin humming.
He constantly seeks my eyes, his dark gaze burning into mine as if he’s trying to memorize my soul before he takes my body.
When he reaches for the hem of my T-shirt and pulls it over my head, a cold spike of embarrassment hits me.
I feel small, awkward—the biology nerd with the wheat-colored hair and the scratches from a dumpster-dive rescue. What if I get it all wrong? What if I don’t make any impression on him?
I try to bare some of his skin too, my palms sliding over the hard, knotted muscles of his shoulders, desperate to feel him.
Devlin doesn’t hesitate. He rips his own shirt off in one jagged motion, tossing it into the shadows. Before I can breathe, he again gathers both of my wrists in one large hand and pins them above my head against the pillow.
“I like it when you do that,” I whisper, my voice trembling.
“I pray to God that you like it,” Devlin breathes against my face, his voice a rough vibration. He kisses me again, deeper this time.
“Do you even believe in God?” I manage to ask, the question slipping right out of my nervous, fluttering heart.
