Chapter Seven
He stared at her asblinding recollections of the kids at school pushing her into lockers and hitting her books so she’d drop them came to him.How often had she been sore from a beating and had to deal with that?How could she go on every day, living the way she had?
And all that time, he’d whined because she hadn’t paid attention to him.Goddamn.He’d fucked up in so many ways he couldn’t count them.
“What are you thinking?”she asked.
“I was just thinking there is no way you'll ever forgive me.”
She looked perplexed.“Why do you want my forgiveness?”
He reached for her hand and gently rubbed his thumb over the back of it, and sighed.
“I haven’t finished my story.The first time I saw you, God, I can’t explain it.It felt like you were supposed to be mine.”He held up a hand when she opened her mouth.“Let me finish.For a week, I tried to get your attention.Every time I tried to talk to you, you scurried off like you couldn’t stand me.”
She shook her head.“That wasn’t it.”
“I know that now.At the time, it felt like my heart was broken.I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.I started getting angry at you.”
“And that’s why you started to call me ice princess and being mean to me?”
“Yes.I was a spoiled little rich kid who always got what he wanted, and when I couldn’t have you, the one thing I was ever desperate for, I threw a fit.It also got your attention, even though it was because of pain.”
He wiped a hand down his face.“When the kids saw how I treated you, they started it also, and it got out of hand.I tried to get them to leave you alone, but they thought I couldn’t stand you, so they kept at it.I admitted my feelings for you to a few close friends and my dad.They didn’t know what to tell me.So, I continued on the way I was, and I hurt us both because I was an asshole.”
She relaxed back against the cushion and waited.
“Why did you leave before graduation?”he asked suddenly.
“Why would I subject myself to that when I didn’t need to?”
“You mean you didn’t go because of us ...me?”
She shrugged.“The ceremony didn’t matter anymore.Getting away was more important.”
He felt tears sting his eyelids and was shocked.He’d cried in his room after his father passed, but never in front of anyone.When he thought about it more, he was sadder about what he’d done to her than about his father's dying.
“I’m so fucking sorry, baby.I don’t know how to make up for it.”
She looked confused.“Why is this bothering you now?”
“It has bothered me every day of my life since it started.I just didn’t know how to stop it.I came looking for you so many times over the years.Before I left for college, I went to see you, and your mom always said you were still gone, and she didn’t know when you would be back.I didn’t get a chance during school because I was across the country from you, and then when I graduated and came home, you still weren’t here.My dad fell ill.He needed me to concentrate on the family business before he died.I lost him about seven months after I came home.Everything has been hectic since that time.”
