Annabell had let pieces of her own life escape and disappear. Without hope, she let go of dreams and just existed. When Benjere sent Doku-ni away, she surrendered a big part of her identity without realizing it, making an unconscious decision to only live life task to task. Just like Mama stopped living. When Annabell married Mark, the last sparks of hope at having a family of her own fell apart in the reality of a mismatched union.
Annabell was alive again.
Rubbing her cheek against Doku-ni's chest, she sighed in happy gratitude. Had he not come, she would have died under the raider's hand. But before that, Annabell only existed.
Responding to her sigh, Doku-ni squeezed her, sweet and tight. "Greetings, Doku-ni's Anna."
Smoother with use, he had a wonderful voice, a baritone good for singing. "Greetings, Anna's Doku-ni," she said in her bad Orkish.
He purred back at her, bending his head to rub his tusk along her cheek and kiss her brow. Beneath her hands, the endless expanse of muscled chest waited for exploration. Kissing the white skin, she reached up to the line around his neck where the wire necklet scared him, tracing it around to the front of his throat. The skin had healed well; the scar left behind fit together like two pieces of leather, smooth with no mottling.
That rectangle had blocked him from talking and slowed his ability to consume food. Breaking the wire and pulling it and the metal out took minutes. He could have done it at any time. Annabell spent more time removing a thorn from Daisydoo's belly when she got into the brambles than Doku-ni spent pulling a metal plate from his jugular. He could have removed the damn thing, but he had not.
It made her brain ache and her throat throb. How long had it been there? Had it hurt? How much did his strange skin feel? As far as Annabell knew, he felt pain the way she did, understood pain and pleasure as she did. He responded to her touches and when she set her teeth in him he felt it, she was sure he wasn't pretending. Although she could not mark him, he gave every impression of sensitivity and awareness. "Why couldn't you talk? What was that thing in your throat with the wire attached to it? Why were you wearing that?"
"Inhibitor," he said. The word was common, not Orkish.
"Inhibitor?"
He repeated, "Inhibitor. Doku-ni failed his redress. Doku-ni was not worthy of his treasure."
"What?" She hadn't expected the answer to have anything to do with her. But she understood his mix of common and Orkish easily.
"Stops signals, flow. Different inhibitors do different things. Silence inhibitor."
The explanation confused her as much as the reality. "A silence inhibitor? Why? What do you mean?"
A long, drawn-out sound escaped him, a weary noise just like one Zerzer often made. "Doku-ni failed his redress. Doku-ni was not worthy of his treasure," he repeated.
Annabell saw now the connection between herself and his failure. "How did you fail?"
"Doku-ni found bride, but redress young. Shamed. Failure. Not good enough. Only one redress woman for Doku-ni. One lifetime. One and he offend Anna family by approaching Anna too young."
Everything in her protested, the thought of him shamed and not good enough for her. How could he think that? She was the one who failed her parents, family, and everyone around her. "That wasn't you—that was me. That was my family's shame. Benjere and Kejere broke the Peace Law. They sent a friend into the Orki lands. He didn't come back, and it made the whole town angry. They blamed the Orki."
"Yes. Break law. The law is known. Can law change? Time passes, world erode, born again and again in smoke and lava, but Orki live. Orki do not change. Yes, angry. Ri no go again to Anna village. Not welcome. Dangerous. One day it's all days. All days are one day. A day is a life." His words sounded like some austere wisdom from Mama's mouth. They carried the same cadence.
"Is it law that made you stop speaking?" Wiggling loose of his hold, she crawled up his body to put her lips on the base of his throat. His hand followed to the back of her head, holding her there. His every touch made her feel wanted and dear.
It felt wonderful to have this male desire her, reaffirming his affection and bond. See her. He gave her life, worthiness, value. It wasn't that she had no value without him; it was that her value hadn't mattered because after her parents' death, no one ever saw it or acknowledged it. With his every touch, he reminded her of her heartbeat, of the breath in her lungs, of her right to live and feel joy.
"One redress. Redress small life. Doku-ni one life." He caught her face in his hands, peered into her eyes.
Annabell kissed his palm. Since she lacked his ability to purr or create a continuous noise, she smiled, watching his face as she attempted a silly hum. Desire distracted her from things she needed to ask and processing the things he said. The bright pleasure and connection they shared glowed, a beacon inside her chest, hungry for more fuel. Forcing herself to keep her hips still and focus on his eyes, she said, "I don't understand. Why did you have that metal plate? Did you put it there yourself because I couldn't be your bride?"
His hands slipped down from her head to her throat, increasing her heartbeat.
"Doku-ni failed his bride. Voice and words did not earn redress. Doku-ni did not need voice or words. My redress was found, I lost her."
"But—"
Gently, he stopped her by covering her lips with his thumbs. When she tried to speak, his thumb went in. They hadn't bathed yet, and he smelled like their sex. She was fast losing the ability to hold this conversation. "Doku-ni only One. See only Anna."
His thumb in her mouth, eyes burning, his other hand slid down over her body to her bottom. After that, it was hours before they returned to reasonable conversation.
She needed a wash. Any bowl of water would do. Doku-ni agreed, "Wash, yes. Brothers attend. Anna no see. Waters are not alone. You are my redress woman. You only see me and I only see you. You are my one, I am your one. Do not see my brothers."
Unsure what he meant, Annabell let him pull her upright. She got a yes; that was the important part. Their blankets and furs fell away, exposing her nakedness to the room. In a curved hollow, she couldn't see anyone from her vantage point. There was light around the corner, and she rarely glimpsed the side of an Orki walking past, but this was the first place they slept with privacy. At her feet, there were many extra furs and blankets, supplies specific to this camp. She had no memory at all of arriving here. "Where are we?"
