I lift a shoulder, trying to look like it doesn’t kill me how much Ronan hates me. “It’s okay, Hop. His dads have as much right to be here as anyone else.”
“Hm.”
In the meantime, Oakley sees his fathers and jogs over to them. It’s hard to make out what they’re saying, but Oak seems to be happy they’re here.
Did he know they were coming?
No. He also would have warned me ahead of time.
Oakley laughs at something Thane says. While they’re hugging and catching up, Ronan is still staring daggers at me. Kinda like how you’d look at a dog who just shit on the expensive rug.
The spicy taco turns sour in my stomach. It’s hard to blame the guy when I pretty much agree with his assessment.
Who would want their son to be friends with someone like me?
At least my fathers aren’t?—
Double fuck.
I spot Erik weaving through the crowd, followed by Ant, who’s holding Erik’s hand. They scan the crowd, stopping when they land on me, big grins on both their faces.
“Sy, buddy!” Ant says, bounding up to me. “This is great. I’m so happy you came!”
I’m not the tallest guy, but Ant comes up to my chin, maybe. Something about his small stature felt safe to that feral kid rescued from the lab. Still does, really.
Ant was the first person who told me I would be loved, period. Even if I did bad things, even if I eventually had to be institutionalized for my own good. I would be loved,andI was responsible for working out how to be as good and principled a person as I could be.
Erik loves me just as much. He’s quieter in his approach, but the pride in his eyes is… Ah, man.
Keep it together, Sy.
It’s just… I can hardly believe I’m worth all this trouble. I mean, they’ve never made me call them Dad or Pops or any of the terms of endearment the Wildlings use for their fathers. And even though choosing to adopt me cost them friendships, they cry really hard whenever I tell them I’m not worth it.
I’ve learned to keep that truth to myself.
As the Wildlings’ dads have begun to accept me, my fathers have been attending more family get-togethers. But they try to avoid Thane and Ronan out of respect for Ronan’s reaction to me.
Based on the glare he’s sending my way, it’s still pretty bad.
“It’s wonderful to see how the Wildlings include you in everything,” Erik says in his gentle Nordic accent.
He and Ant always understood—beyond reason—how to love an unlovable thing. I was a difficult child, but every time I pushed my fathers away, they loved me that much more fiercely. Even though I didn’t have the vocabulary to tell them that I loved them, I did love them.
Idolove them.
But a train wreck is about to happen, and I don’t have any hope of stopping it.
Erik stiffens as he catches Ronan looking over here.
“He better stop looking at my son like that,” Ant says under his breath. “Or I will fuck him up.”
“No, babe.” Erik pulls him back. “This is for charity. We’re all going to be adults about things. We’ll stay with our assigned houses, and they’ll stay with theirs.”
Thane and Erik share a pained glance.
This is all my doing.
The Wildlings insist I’m one of them. I believe them, weirdly enough. I just hate that I’m the reason for the palpable tension.
