I smile. It’s a common question in equine therapy circles.
Oakley answers. “Silas needed a little extra support after everything that happened. Ant was just explaining to me that in order to hold a horse like that, you have to calm yourself.”
“So…doing that teaches you how to regulate yourself?”
“Basically.”
I slowly let go of Cherry’s foot, patting her flank as I stand.
I take a deep breath, and I’m surprised to see Ronan has joined us. I stay where I am, not sure about the next move.
Erik gestures for me to join them.
“Are you sure it’s okay? I understand if it’s not.”
Ronan is the one who answers. “You can come over. I’m all right.” He lets out a breath. “Well, notallright, but…better.”
“Same.” I shrug. “I’m sure being attacked by someone who looks just like me is going to take a little while to get over.”
He and I had a moment on the rooftop, but I know things can change once the adrenaline settles. Oakley said he’s been having nightmares again.
Ronan sways a little, then shakes his head. “I thought it might too. But…” He takes a beat. Thane wraps his arm around his husband, and Ronan leans against him. “Seeing your literal clone was…terrifying. And while you can be terrifying to the people we go after, you’ve done everything you could to be a safe and active member of this family. I can’t imagine how much work it took for you to get to this point.”
“A lot,” I admit. “I wish I didn’t need so much help.”
Ant clears his throat.
“But…I’m trying to accept that the people who love me were happy to do it.”
Erik narrows his eyes at me. “Finish the sentence.”
I blow out a raspberry. “Because I’ve done the hard work.”
My fathers smile, and Oakley winks at me.
“You have,” Thane says quietly. “And we’re sorry we didn’t see that before.”
My face flushes at the compliment, and I lower my chin.
Ronan approaches me. Despite the nice things he’s said, he still seems nervous.
Maybe we’re all trying to do the hard thing.
“Would you mind showing me how to hold her hoof?” he asks.
I look to Ant, who gestures for me to go ahead.
“Have you ever ridden a horse?” I ask.
Ronan nods. “I have. A little bit as a kid, and then we visited a local dude ranch last year.”
“So you understand how to approach a horse, right?”
Ronan gives a so-so gesture. “I know it’s about the energy. Like, if you come into the space with bad energy, a horse is gonna know it.”
“Exactly.” I shake out my hands, excited that he gets it.
I won’t tell him that, if this goes well, I’m probably going to have to kill someone later.
