When he got to his apartment, he spilled through the door and sobbed with relief when he spotted orange eyes glowing at him from the corner of the darkened living room. He almost never opened his curtains anymore, and the weak light of dawn couldn’t penetrate the dark bubble of his home.
“Thank God you’re here.” He flung the door shut and raced across the room to slam into Ashmedai, who uttered a chuff of surprise and immediately wrapped his arms around him.
“What’s wrong?” Ashmedai asked, cradling the back of Nicolas’s head with a clawed hand. “You’re crying.”
“Please take me to the Rink. Please, right now, I have to go see Daniel.”
Ashmedai drew back to look at him, tracking a tear with a claw. “Okay. Hold tight.”
Nicolas buried his face in the dark curve of Ashmedai’s neck, where the shadows of his hood were deepest, and closed his eyes as the world bottomed out around them. When he felt tiled floor under his feet, his chin wobbled. What if Daniel hated him? What if they all did? Where would he go when all of this was over, if they refused to accept him here because of what he’d done?
“Breathe,” Ashmedai growled in his ear, “slower.”
Nicolas struggled to obey, stomach quivering as he inhaled slowly and held it in before exhaling. Ashmedai’s hands smoothed up and down his back, wrinkling his shirt. He was pretty sure he was getting snot on Ashmedai’s fancy hood.
“Did someone hurt you?”
“No.” His breath hitched. “I hurtthem.”
“Who?”
There was no way he could tell Ashmedai right now without breaking down. He shook his head, turning away. He wiped at his face as he opened the door.
The sight that greeted him made him nauseous. Everyone was crowded in the sitting area. Alex was on one end of the sofa, an arm wrapped around his middle. His face was pale, his body slouched down against the cushion. Talon knelt between his legs, gripping his free hand.
Daniel was beside him, leaning forward with his fingers buried in his hair. At the end of the couch, Julian was leaning on the armrest, one arm wrapped around Valac’s thick, jean-clad thigh like he needed a point of contact with him. The enormous demon’s glowing purple eyes landed on Nicolas and Ashmedai first. The ink-black lines on his skin moved like slow waves, calm but oddly ominous.
“…Forgo patrols for a while, just to be safe,” Talon was saying.
Alex opened his mouth to protest, and Talon cut him off.
“I know, I know. None of you will want to. But the paladins are still patrolling, so they can handle the beasts for a while. It’s not safe for you anymore. Running into a full squad of paladins is too—” He broke off at the sound of Nicolas’s approachingfootsteps, whirling around with a murderous glare. “You! You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your goddamn face here today. I should hang you from the ceiling by yourinnards, holy man.”
Nicolas stopped abruptly as Talon strode toward him, backing straight into Ashmedai’s steadfast body. Ashmedai draped an arm over his shoulder, palm pressing flat against his chest, while his other hand extended in a stopping motion toward Talon. A growl hissed out of him, higher-pitched than the deep, purring one Nicolas had grown used to.
“Do not threaten him,” he rasped.
“Your human here almost got minekilled,” Talon spat.
“I’m sorry,” Nicolas said.
“It sounds like you played your part a little too well, holy man,” Talon sneered. “I’m beginning to question your motives.”
It felt like a sucker punch, but a well-deserved one. He’d thought something similar, hadn’t he? It was too easy to say the right things around Sloan’s people. Too easy to blend in with them. He was raised to carry those same values, and time had only eroded them, not erased them. Pretending to be one of them was like a slow poison dripping into his veins. Too much exposure would kill him.
“Talon,” Alex protested.
Talon’s attention didn’t waver, and Nicolas could barely stand to meet his midnight gaze. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you where you stand.”
He didn’t have a good reason. Ashmedai wouldn’t let him do that, but what if the other demons intervened on Talon’s behalf? Could Ashmedai fight them all off? Valac wore a stormy glare, his possessive hand on Julian’s headbroadcasting his disapproval more than any words could. The others all looked equally cold and uninviting.
“I can’t give you one,” he whispered, and Ashmedai’s claws pricked his skin through the fabric of his T-shirt. He looked past Talon and met Daniel’s stricken gaze. “I’m so fucking sorry, you guys. I prayed the whole drive to sector 114 that we wouldn’t see any of you. I knew what they were doing. I knew they were looking for some of you. I knew it was a test for me. They wanted to see how I’d react.”
“Well, I take it you aced that one,” Talon growled.
His throat ached. “I don’t know. I let them get away, so probably not.”
Daniel stood. Nicolas didn’t dare to breathe as he walked over. Would Daniel hit him? He’d deserve it. Tell him to leave? He’d deserve that, too.
