He couldn’t walk away, not if Ashmedai wasright here. His body moved without conscious thought, like Ashmedaihad his own gravitational pull. He barely had the sense of mind to shut the door behind him to make sure no one else could stumble upon them.
“Ash,” he sobbed, stumbling straight into the demon’s arms.
A low,satisfiedgrowl filled his ear as he gripped Ashmedai’s supple cloak in both hands, going up on his tiptoes to properly bury his face in Ashmedai’s neck. He inhaled that familiar, cool scent, shuddering with relief when Ashmedai’s arms tightened around him, lining their bodies up from hip to shoulder.
God, he’d missed him so much. How was that possible? They barely knew each other. It was like he’d been walking around with a thorn under his skin, and he’d finally pulled it out. Tension bled from his limbs, and he could finally breathe without aching.
“I’m sorry,” Nicolas breathed, pressing his lips to Ashmedai’s neck just to feel the warmth of his skin as he spoke. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have sent you away. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Nic-las,” Ashmedai rasped. “It’s okay. I understand now.”
That was good, because Nicolas didn’t understand a damn thing. His whole world was unraveling around him, and this was the only thing that made sense anymore. He didn’t know why, and he couldn’t possibly put it into words, but somehow being in Ashmedai’s arms was the only time he didn’t feel like he was lost at sea. Ademonmade him feel safe. It shouldn’t be possible, but he was tired of fighting it.
Long fingers sifted through his hair, cradling him. “You are good,” Ashmedai went on. “You do good things.” He turned his head, pressing his cheek to Nicolas’s. “It’s dumb.”
Nicolas snorted out a surprised laugh.
“But it’s… who you are. That’s okay.”
Nicolas’s stomach jolted. Ashmedai was speaking in full sentences now. Nicolas had missed that transition, and he hated himself for it. Did someone else help him learn to bridge the gap in his language, or did he learn it on his own? Nicolas should have been there.
“Are you saying it’s okay for me to be a good person?”
Ashmedai heaved a beleaguered sigh. “I guess.”
Nicolas shook with laughter, muffling it against Ashmedai’s skin. “Thanks. So you don’tgetwhy I want to help, but you won’t fight me on it? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yes. Am saying it’s dumb… but I support it.”
He was so happy he could cry. Hewouldcry, if he let himself marinate in it for much longer. So instead, he focused on all the uncertainty lurking within him, erecting it like a shield around his most vulnerable pieces.
“Why did it feel so bad to be away from you?” he asked. “I’ve been dreaming about you. Every single night. Like my mind couldn’t accept that you weren’t around.”
“Don’t know. Don’t sleep. Wish I’d been able to dream of you.” He moved his head back and forth, rubbing their cheeks together.
Nicolas smiled at the sensation of skin on skin. “Maybe there’s some truth to what the others said, about us being made for each other.” The thought still made his stomach clench, but it wasn’t just anxiety anymore. Something fragile had taken root within him, the moment he laid eyes on Ashmedai again. He couldn’t stand the idea of being apart from him again. It was torture.
Ashmedai stilled. “You think so?”
Nicolas slowly raised his head, meeting those glowing eyes. They were all he could see in the absolute darkness around them. “Yeah. I don’t know how else to explain it. It was like I was going through some kind of withdrawal.”
Ashmedai leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. “Yes. Awful.”
“Yeah,” Nicolas breathed. His eyes filled, but he blinked the wetness away. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart. “I don’t want to do it anymore. Will you… Will you go to my place? Be there when I get home?”
Claws tickled Nicolas’s cheek. “Yes. But…”
“But what?”Please don’t say no,he wanted to say.Please don’t leave me alone again.
“Stay with you until you go back to HQ.”
Nicolas’s brow furrowed. “What? How? You can’t be seen, remember? It’s too?—”
“No, I know. I’ll hide. In the shadows. They won’t see me. Neither will you. But… I’ll watch over you. Keep you safe while you hunt. Then I’ll meet you at home.”
At home.Nicolas’s stomach fluttered. “Okay.”
Those claws trailed gentle lines down the side of his face and back up. “No demons will bother you tonight. I promise.”
