“You can’t seriously be taking thesin eater’sside.”
“Why not? It sounds like he cares as much about you as I do.” Daniel folded his arms across his chest.
“He’s a demon.”
“A good demon, yes?”
“I-I don’t know. I barely know him, really.”
“You’ve had sex with him—actually who am I kidding, that’s on-brand for you.”
“Hey!” Nicolas made to stand, but Daniel snagged his wrist and dragged him back down.
“You’re scared.”
“You’re damn right I’m scared!” How did they even start talking about this? This was the last thing he wanted to talkabout. The fight with Ashmedai was still too raw. He couldn’t sort out his feelings about the demon right now. He was a monster, but he made Nicolas feel things. Incredible things. Dangerous things.
“Okay, I get it,” Daniel relented magnanimously. “You need to be stupid about it for a while.”
Nicolas groaned, flopping back against the cushion. “I’m not being stupid. He’s a demon, okay? Like a real, black-skinned, hooded, glowing eyes demon. He’s not like the halflings. And I’m supposed to believe he and I arefatedto be together?”
“But you like him,” Daniel said.
Nicolas sagged. Yeah, he did. That was maybe the scariest thing of all. Instinctively, from the moment they’d met, a part of Nicolas had trusted him. Even after watching Ashmedai slaughter his entire squad, he didn’t run or fight. He hadn’t felt the urge to. He’d known heshould, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to. He couldn’t explain it.
“Is it really so bad that he’s… I don’t know, more demonic than the other demons?”
Yes. But only because Nicolas couldn’t admit howthrillingthat made it.
“It doesn’t matter. I need to focus on the job I’m about to be doing. How can I pretend to hate demons in front of Sloan and the others if I’m—screwing one when I leave HQ?” He flushed at the words, but it was true.
“It’s called acting,” Daniel drawled. “Lying, one might say.”
Nicolas rolled his eyes. “I hate you.”
“You love me.”
“I do, but damn.” Daniel gave him no quarter when he thought he was being stupid, and somehow he always saidthe things Nicolas needed to hear the most—andhatedto hear the most. He didn’t know how he did it, but it wasn’t fair. There was some kind of cheating involved, he was sure.
“Just—” Daniel patted his arm. “Don’t shut him down just because you’re scared of how fast things are moving. It sounds like this demon doesn’t understand humans very well, so he’s definitely not going to understand your commitment issues.”
“I don’t havecommitment—” At Daniel’s flat look, he stopped.
Nicolas sighed. They didn’t have the best home life growing up. Dad steamrolled over everything Mom wanted for them, training them to be soldiers despite her wishes that they would go into a softer field serving the Lord. He remembered a lot of yelling growing up, a lot of hissed arguments happening over his and Daniel’s heads when they were in the same room. Maybe it messed with his perception of relationships a little bit. His knee-jerk reaction to Ashmedai telling him what to do had been to rebel. He’d sworn a long time ago that he’d never let anyone treat him the way Dad treated Mom. Danny was right; Ashmedai wouldn’t understand that.
And Ashmedai definitely didn’t understand humans. The way he’d intensely approached Nicolas that first night proved that. He’d pushed right past Nicolas’s comfort levels more than once, but he’d also backed off when Nicolas put up a real fuss this morning. He could learn, but their interactions so far had definitely been unusual. Maybe it was good that one of them was pressing the brake now. They both needed the breathing room.
“I’ll talk to him. At some point,” he said, giving Daniel asidelong look and pursing his lips at Daniel’s exasperated sigh.
“Fine. Never thought I’d see the day that my brother would break ademon’sheart, but here we are.”
Nicolas’s heart lurched. “I didn’t break his heart.”
Daniel gave him an arch look. “Are you sure?”
No, he wasn’t. His own was certainly aching.
Nicolas was surprisedto put in his request to speak with Sloan that afternoon and be called in straight away. Sloan’s secretary—a new addition to the floor—gave him a tight smile as he passed her desk. She was young, probably just eighteen, pale and freckled. He wondered if she’d been placed there at random for the week or if Sloan had specifically requested her. He’d never had a secretary before he overthrew the council. Nicolas guessed he had a lot more administrative tasks now that he’d taken over every major decision for the guild. She barely spoke, just gestured for him to go down the hall to Sloan’s office. The door stood ajar, but he knocked anyway.
