Reb rolls her eyes. “Okay, yes. Sure. But I also am a nerdy recluse. And you are like the first female friend outside of work that I’ve had as an adult.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
She shrugs, looking a little sad. “You’re my best friend. One of my only friends.”
There’s an odd break in her voice that is so at odds with Reb’s normally relentless cheerfulness. I hardly know how to respond. “You’re my best friend, too!” I insist. When she arches a brow in question, I hastily add on, “Along with Keegan and Thea. And a person can have more than one best friend!”
Her lips twist. “Sure. But my point is, as far as friends go, you’re it for me. I need you more than you need me.”
“That is ridiculous!”
“But is it?” She gives another shrug. “If our friendship ever ended, where would I even find another friend? I work ridiculous hours. I’m surrounded by people who are intimidated by my talent and work ethic, who also resent me because my father started the company. Everyone I know other than you, Thea, and Keegan work in gaming. They all hate me for one reason or another. Without you, I’m a friendless troll with no social skills.”
“That is not true! You are delightful and wonderful and funny and–”
She stands, cutting me off by taking my hands in hers. “It is true. And until now, I’ve let you do all the heavy lifting in our friendship. And that hasn’t been fair of me. I’ve let you give more, because ...” she rolls her eyes. “Well, probably because I’m lazy. But my point is, I’ve been selfish. But you’ve been selfish, too. Because as long as you’re doing all the heavy lifting in every relationship you’re in, then you believe no one will ever leave you.”
“I don’t—” I start to protest automatically, but then cut myself off, because suddenly I can’t breathe. “That is not true. That is not why we’re friends!”
And just like that, I’m crying again.
Reb gives an exaggerated wince and makes that horse-soothing gesture again. “Are these mad tears or sad tears?”
“They’re mad tears! You completely underestimate your own value and you make me sound like a horrible person.”
Reb takes a cautious step towards me. “Should I hug you or something? I feel like you need a hug.”
I glare at her before answering.
“Do not hug me after being so mean,” I clam up, uncomfortable with her insight.
She doesn’t hug me. She does something more surprising. She wraps her hands around my arms and shakes me. “Stop being so dramatic. You’re not a horrible person. You are amazing and loving and kind and, unfortunately, just as broken and emotionally fucked up as the rest of us. That doesn’t make you a horrible person, it makes you human. I wasn’t mean to you.”
“You were a little mean.”
“But if I let you walk away from Keegan just because you’re terrified that he’s all in, then that would be mean of me. And maybe I’ve been a slacker in the friend department until now, but I’m going to try to be better. Which means I’m going to make you go talk to Keegan.”
“What?” I know I’m looking at her like a deer in headlights, but all the run-and-hide instincts are coursing through me when it comes to Keegan. “I can’t do that.”
Reb shrugs as if it’s not a big deal. “Why not? You love him. He loves you. You screwed up, and you need to make it right. Now that your work is postponed, you’ve got nothing but time and problems, Meg. Put on your big girl panties and fix them.”
chaptertwenty-three
After Reb givesme an epic pep talk, way more chamomile tea, and lets me wash my face in her executive washroom, she takes me back down to the lobby and reminds me I have to go talk to Keegan.
“I will.”
“Right now.”
“I will.”
She makes a hurry-it-along gesture. “Okay then, get out your phone and stalk him.”
“I don’t stalk him.”
She arches an eyebrow.
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
