“Yes.”
Instead of being immediately and definitively supportive, she tips her head to the side and says, “Hmmm. Let me think for a minute.”
“What does that mean?” I demand, horrified. “Why do you have to think about it for a minute?”
“Um ...” She winces. “Don’t you think he’s kind of ...”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Kind of what?”
She holds her hands out in front of her, like she’s trying to calm a spooked horse. “Okay, don’t get mad at me and start crying again.”
“Kind of what?”
“Don’t you think he’s kind of right? Just a little?”
“No, I don’t think he’s right!”
“Okay, look at it from my point of view. You like to be the ...” she seems to struggle for the right word. “The boss in a relationship.”
“So, what? I’m a dominatrix?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“You like to be the person who brings the most to the table.”
“What does that even mean?”
“You like to help other people. And you never let anyone help you.”
Suddenly, my jaw is trembling again. I clench my teeth trying to stop it, but it doesn’t seem to help because my throat is closing and the flood of tears in my eyes is too vast to be blinked away. Just like the flood of emotions is too vast to be shoved back down.
“No.” I’m going to choke on my tears. Or drown in them. One way or another, this swell of emotion is going to kill me. “No. He’s not right. I can let people help me.”
“Well, sure. But do you?”
“Yes. You’re helping me right now.”
“When I first found you hiding in the elevator, you told me to go away. In fact, you ordered me to go away.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Um. Yeah, you did. You tried to ditch me with the tired business suit guy. You wouldn’t even tell me what was wrong until I told you it would be good for programmers to see a woman crying at work. As soon as I made it seem like it was a favor to me, then you let me help you.”
“Are you saying you manipulated me?”
She shrugs, looking both smug and diffident. “Yes. But I think we can both agree I don’t have the social or emotional intelligence to have done it on purpose. So you can’t be irritated with me about it.”
“Maybe.” I squeeze my arms tighter around myself and concentrate on not crying. “But I’m definitely going to be annoyed that you’re taking Keegan’s side in this.”
“I’m not taking his side. I’m just pointing out that he might be right. In any given relationship, you like to be the one who’s giving more.”
“That’s just not true!”
“Isn’t it? Come on, your best friends, other than Keegan, are an elderly cat lady and a nerdy recluse.”
“I’m offended on both of your behalf. Thea is so much more than an elderly cat lady. And you are a badass boss bitch.”
