“No.” He does that shoving-his-hand-through-his-hair thing again. “I guess.” His gaze searches my face, and I can’t tell if he’s baffled by me or wondering how to fire me. “I don’t know,” he says finally. He seems as flummoxed by the question as I am by this entire conversation. “Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I’ve done nothing like this before.”
He seems genuinely distressed.
“Anything like what?”
“Like this.” He gestures to the two of us. “Meg, I like you. I think we would be good together. But I’ve never dated anyone who worked with me. I don’t know how to proceed or if—”
On impulse, I step forward and take his hands in mine. He cuts himself off and just looks at me, something hopeful in his gaze.
Okay, yeah. I see now how this looked. Like I had something to say, rather than I just wanted him to stop talking.
But really, it was just the wanting-him-to-stop-talking thing.
“I’m sorry,” I say gently, but without hesitation.
A month ago, I thought Reid was everything I’ve ever wanted. Now, when I’m presented with the possibility of actually having him, it’s not what I want at all. Probably, he was never what I wanted. He was a distraction. A safe way to keep my mind occupied and away from what I really wanted.
His mouth twists into a wry smile. “I suspected that would be your answer. Just out of curiosity, it’s not because I’m your boss, is it?”
I shake my head. “No. That’s not the problem.”
“The guy from the gala?”
“Yes.” My cheeks flush as I realize how that sounds. I flirted with Reid on the rooftop and then again at the gala. “We went to the gala as friends. He’s my best friend. When you and I ran into each other on the rooftop, I thought that was all we were. I didn’t purposely mislead you.”
If anything, I purposely misled myself.
Reid’s wry smile twists into a smirk with just a hint of self-deprecation to it. “No, I don’t suppose you did. That’s not your style, is it?”
“I am sorry.”
Reid gives a terse nod, then turns and walks back toward the elevator, pulling his earbuds out as he walks.
“You’re not staying to do work?” I ask.
“No.” He pushes the elevator button and turns back to look at me while he waits for the elevator to arrive. “You were the only reason I came in.” A moment later, he steps back into the elevator, holding the door open just long enough to give a wistful smile. “You should head home, too. I’ll have the presentation to Butler pushed back. You shouldn’t be working on the weekend.”
I watch the elevator doors close, not entirely sure what to make of this encounter.
Reid is a good man. More complicated than I imagined him to be. And he’s still not the guy I want. Worse still, I’m not sure anymore that this is the job I want.
I think of how exciting it was last night to talk to the Langleys about the development of their property. Of the challenge of convincing Bruce that the project would work, that sustainable development can be profitable. Do I really want to hawk vacuums when I could be doing work like that?
No.
But do I really want to leave my job at Forester+Blake?
I’ve worked so hard to get where I am. For so many years. And this job has given me independence that I never could have hoped for growing up. Do I want to surrender all that? Do I want to work with Keegan and also ... what?Bewith Keegan?
I don’t know. I only know that sitting here in the office won’t fix anything.
I grab my purse and my tote and head for the elevator. On impulse, I punch the button for the top floor. I’ll just ride all the way up and then back down, because the last thing I want is to run into Reid in the lobby.
Despite the fact that my life is collapsing in on itself like an ancient burned out star. Despite the fact that I’ve messed up everything.
When the elevator doors open, I’m not on the top floor, but a few floors up on Twenty-six, where Reb works.
At least I assume this is her floor, because when the doors open, she’s there, waiting. She’s wearing a pair of purple overalls with a tank top underneath, and she doesn’t have any shoes, though I can see rainbow striped socks sticking out in the bottom of her pant legs. She’s facing away from the elevator and hopping up and down.
