Whoever.
I don’t say that out loud, but it’s what’s in my head.
He’s clearly unhappy with me right now, and I don’t know why. Maybe he wishes he hadn’t invited me or that he’d taken Selah instead.
I make it to my door, but my hands are shaking so much I can barely get the key in the lock. It doesn’t help that he’s right there behind me, watching as I fumble.
God, that feels like a metaphor.
I hate feeling this way, like I’m incompetent and foolish. I hate even more having someone witness it.
Keegan is my best friend, so maybe it should be easier, but somehow it’s worse.
I finally get the key in the lock and unlock my door. I would slam the door in his face, but he’s faster than I am and catches the door with his hand. “What the hell is wrong with you, Meg?”
I’m already stomping up the stairs to the main level of my condo when I shoot back over my shoulder, “That’s rich. What the hell is w-wrong with you?”
I don’t know why I’m so angry all of a sudden. I don’t lose my temper. Not with anyone, certainly not with Keegan. We have literally never fought.
The idea of us fighting upsets me so much that I just wish he would leave. I want to be alone to sort out all of these weird feelings, but he doesn’t leave. He stomps up the stairs behind me, pulling off his jacket and tie as he follows.
“You want to know what’s wrong withme? You want to know whyI’mmad? It’s because you left me alone. You disappeared for half an hour to go flirt with some random guy on a rooftop.”
My mouth drops open.
All the bluster leaves my sails.
I was prepared with a defense about why I disappeared on him. Prepared to feel indignant since he’s the one to blame for not telling me about Selah ahead of time. But the moment he mentions flirting with some random dude on a rooftop, I’m stumped. How did he know I was up on the rooftop with Reid? How much did he see? And why do I feel guilty about being there?
I cross my arms over my chest. “I disappeared because I didn’t know what else to do. And I didn’t disappear with the intention of flirting for some ‘random dude’ on a rooftop.” I bracket the words with air quotes. “I went up on the rooftop to get some air and he happened to be there. And he wasn’t some random dude. That was my boss. Once I ran into him, I couldn’t very well leave without making conversation.”
Now it’s Keegan’s turn to look shocked. “That was him?” Keegan’s voice is suddenly soft. “That’s the guy you have a crush on?”
“That was Reid Forester. Yes. But I w-wasn’t flirting with him. I didn’t run into him on purpose.”
“You may not have meant to flirt with him. God knows you never seem to know when you’re actually flirting with someone, but he was definitely flirting with you.”
I snap my mouth shut, any possible defense stuck in my throat. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don’t know when I’m flirting with people? I don’t know which accusation is more shocking: the idea that I somehow unknowingly flirt with people or that Reid was flirting with me and I didn’t notice.
On the other hand, didn’t I?
I did notice that Reid was giving me pick-me-up eyes, but that doesn’t mean I responded to it. Or did I?
If I really didn’t want Reid to flirt with me, shouldn’t I have told him that I work for him? I’m not interested in Reid. I see that with so much clarity now, but did I see that then? When I was back on the rooftop, still reeling from the realization that Keegan dated Selah, did I know that I wasn’t interested in Reid? Did I stay and talk with him merely because his apparent interest soothed my ego?
Maybe, but I know he’s not actually interested in me. Anyone could get caught up in the heightened romance of fancy clothes and amazing rooftop views.
“I didn’t go up on the rooftop to meet him. I didn’t flirt with him. Honestly. We chatted, but it didn’t mean anything.”
He nods, but the gesture is terse, and his expression hasn’t cleared. “Why did you leave?”
“Why do you think? I left because I was upset. Because I didn’t know how to handle Selah being there. And I didn’t expect—”
“You didn’t expect what?” He takes a step closer to me. His arms falling down to his sides.
“You didn’t tell the truth.” I say the words like an accusation. “She’s not just some neighbor who flirts with y-you all the time. Y-you were with her.”
Keegan scrubs a hand over his hair and then down his face. “Yes.”
