I have to force myself to look at the item he’s pointing to. “A week at an eco-friendly resort off the coast of Belize, including a private tour of a turtle rescue facility.”
“Haven’t you always wanted to go to Belize?” His breath brushes my ear as he asks.
I shiver. “Yes,” I murmur, though I’m suddenly not sure if I’m answering his question or just generally agreeing to having him this close.
“Then you should bid on it. I insist.”
Everything about this moment is just too much. Too much of everything I’ve wanted and can’t let myself have. Being cradled in his arms. Being pampered by him. Being protected by him. Being spoiled by him.
It’s a fantasy come to life. But that’s all it is. A fantasy. An illusion created by the romantic setting and the intimacy of this date-that’s-not-a-date.
It’s no more real than the fairy lights are actually sparkling fairies.
I can’t let myself get caught up in that fantasy. Doing so would put our friendship at risk.
I step away from him. “Okay, I’ll bid on it.”
He gives me a shrewd look. “Promise?”
“Of course,” I say as breezily as I can when my heart is pounding. I don’t tell him that I’ll just place the lowest bid possible.
After a second of studying me, he turns us both toward the entrance. As we walk, Keegan’s hand shifts from hovering at the small of my back to straight up resting on the curve of my hip. It never occurred to me that there was a difference between the two things. But there is.
A second ago, he was merely walking beside me. His hand on my back felt polite. Believably fake date appropriate. This feels ... like something else entirely.
I can feel the impression of each of his fingers on my hip, and the spot where his thumb brushes lightly up and down. Plus, his hand on my hip pulls me closer to his side. I am all but wedged under his shoulder, pressed to his side, enveloped in the steady heat of him.
Everything about this feels natural and yet so different from every other time he’s touched me that there’s something illicit about it. Something darkly forbidden and dangerously habit-forming. Something I could get used to. Something that could break my heart when it goes away.
It’s a difference of mere inches, but these inches feel like miles.
They feel like the difference between me remembering that this is a fake date with my best friend and me pretending this is a real date with a man I once had a serious crush on.
Except I don’t have a crush on Keegan any more. I have genuine feelings for him. I have love for him.
That love has always been strictly platonic, but it’s still love.
And if that line between platonic love and romantic love blurs, I will be in serious trouble here.
chaptersixteen
As Keegan leadsme further into the gala, a knot of anxiety forms in my belly.
And it’s not there for any of the reasons I thought I’d feel dread in a moment like this. It’s not because I’m afraid I won’t fit in or I’m not dressed right. It’s not even because I’m afraid of stuttering and embarrassing myself or Keegan. Those are all the things I thought I would be worrying about in the days leading up to tonight. Ironically, those aren’t the things I’m worried about now.
Instead, it’s because I’m too comfortable. Being here with Keegan, his hand on my hip, his breath in my hair ... all of it. It all feels too good. Too right. Too dangerously addictive.
“Do you want to start out looking at the auction items?” he says as he guides me across the cobblestone. “Do you see anything in the pamphlet you want to bid on?”
I scoff, fanning myself with the pamphlet. “You mean, in addition to y-you buying me an all-inclusive Belizean getaway?”
He just smiles. “Let’s get you a glass of wine and see if anything strikes your fancy.”
We pass under the stone archway into the courtyard. Servers are wandering around with trays of hors d’oeuvres. A local musician is playing an acoustic guitar in the corner. He must know Keegan, because he smiles, giving us a nod. It’s not crowded, but Keegan is staying close.
We stop at the edge of the courtyard, where the walkways weave down across the terraces to the gardens. A server stops to offer us glasses of wine and Keegan snatches a glass for each of us. Another moment that feels way too date-like.
I’ve got to rip the bandaid off on this before I get too lulled into the romance of this date.
