But an ad pitch meeting is completely different. When I pitch one of my ideas, it's like putting a piece of my soul up to be judged by others. There's nothing else that makes me feel that vulnerable.
That's why I freeze up.
Or rather, why I've frozen up in the past. This has to be different.
“Freezing up isn't an option this time. I can do this, right?” I prod.
Thea's sharp gaze cuts to mine. “You want to know if you can overcome your stutter long enough to give an important presentation? And your job is at stake if you don't succeed?”
“Yes,” I say, far more boldly than I feel, because, holy shit, hearing it out loud, it sounds so much worse.
Reb takes another bite of her tacos. “You got this.”
I glare at her, though I'm not sure which I resent more, her blasé attitude or her ability to eat in a time of crisis. Though this is way more crisis-y for me than it is for her. “Could you at least try to be helpful?”
She sets down her taco. “You want my advice?”
“Yes. But only if it's something more helpful than 'You got this'.”
“Okay, here's my advice. If you're really this worried, don't do it.”
“I w-was looking for something a little more productive than that. Aren't you an exec at that gaming company you work at? You're a badass boss, right? Can't you, like, mentor me?”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah. I'm a badass boss at a gaming company. Totally different skill set.”
Resisting the urge to shake her by the shoulders, I practically yell, “What is wr-wr-wrong with y-you? For y-years you've been telling me to do something about Teresa. And now that I am, y-you have no advice?”
Reb gives me a long, hard look and says, “Look, I'm an expert on game design. Not people, not presentations, not dating. None of it.”
“Who said anything about dating?”
She ignored my question. “But you're making this presentation into a big deal because you're avoiding something else.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“You're going on a date with Keagan. Mr. McHotness himself.”
“It's not a date.”
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“Yes. I’m sure.”
“Then why are you blushing?”
Shit. Why am I blushing? I don’t have an answer to that, so I dodge the question. “Why does it matter? Sometimes people blush because they’re sitting in the sun. Or they’re having an allergic reaction to something they ate.”
“Maybe it doesn’t matter. Or maybe you have unresolved feelings for him.”
I look from Reb to Thea and back again. Thea seems lost in thought as she strokes Sasha. Reb raises an eyebrow, clearly waiting for me to respond.
What am I supposed to say here?
Do I admit I used to have a crush on Keegan? Do I tell her about the kiss?
I could really use some … clarity or something in regard to Keegan. Girl talk, maybe? Advice? I’m not sure what exactly I want, but just… telling someone. Letting my friends know it happened somehow makes it, I don’t know,realin a way I could really use right now. Like if I could just talk about it, maybe I would feel less overwhelmed. Less … Untethered.
Or do I steer the conversation back to what is actually important: the presentation that could make or break my career?
