Drasuk looks delectably threatening in his armor as he and Thivoll walk back out of the cave, off to test their new gear against some unsuspecting hunters.
I can almost hear the screams of terror and it's so fucking hot.
"I gather you read a lot," Ree comments out of the blue and it catches me off guard for a moment as I try to figure out what gave her that impression.
I'm usually just spouting nonsense, though my snark kicks in just fine as I turn to face her.
"What, you don't expect that from a jarhead?"
She grimaces and seems to be grappling for a way out of how I twisted her words into an apparent insult.
I start laughing and she lets out a huff of relief, then gives me a weak smile.
She'll figure out my humor soon enough.
"Everyone thinks it's just a bunch of fighting and non-stop action. Most people don't realize military life is mostly waiting around. I used that time to edify myself. I'm partial to Greek and Roman mythology and military history."
She nods.
"Plus, plenty of smut, of course."
She lets out a laugh at that, then raises her eyebrows and quirks a lip in anI see you, sisterlook. Clearly, she's read her own fair share.
"I can't say ER work left me with much downtime or energy for that, but I had... shall we say, lots of unfulfilled urges when I was with my ex-husband."
"Pshh. Couldn't get it up? Glad you lost the dead weight."
A shadow passes over her face, and I force myself to become serious.
"Oh. That sort of dead weight."
She shivers and nods, arms rising to hold herself together after I unintentionally triggered her.
I reach out a hand and hold on to her elbow, telling her with my eyes that it's me who sees her now.
"Well, on the bright side, you couldn't get any farther away from him."
Her lips twitch, but I know I need to offer more to help her shift away from remembered horror.
"No need for me to be up on a murder charge, either. Look at all the fucking silver linings, girl."
She chuckles. "Something tells me you could joke your way right out of it. Or you know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, who--"
"I get it, Ree," I tell her with a laugh in my voice. "A girl never tells, though."
Judging by comments on the way back to the cave, and her body language now, Ree still seems shaken from the fight, haunted by her need to help me kill. It's weighing her down still.
"You did well in that fight, Ree, but I can see it's still bothering you."
She lets out a huff. "I'm too soft for this place. I can't stop seeing the people I killed, even though they deserved it. Even though I would be dead if I hadn't."
"I would also be dead if you hadn't, Ree. And seeing their faces is normal. I'll never forget any of my kills. I assume Drasuk won't either. We just aren't as brave as you are to openly admit it. Webury our feelings about it so we can focus on what is right in front of us."
"I can't do that, it seems like."
"It's why we are soldiers, and you are a commander. It's not just your charisma, or that silver tongue Thiv was bragging about to Drasuk just a bit ago, but because you can be our heart. You keep us centered. I don't need to know what you told Drasuk, but that's what you did for him before the fight. Right?"
"Yes. He was torn between two motivators. I helped him see which one mattered most."
