The old guilt tries to resurface and I remind myself that I couldn't have stayed planet-side. It would've been a slow death to not be moving toward something new. Though I admit I've made little progress in my goal to see more of the universe since taking my station post.
It might have something to do with this being a compromise between what I want and what will cause her the least amount of pain.
She growls at me, but there's no bite promised in it. "Are you on the station?"
"No, I'm in a small vessel headed to make repairs."
"With slime in the system? I need to talk to your station lead."
"I'm sure there's a patrol around."
She huffs out her disbelief. "As if the Thorisian Sentinels have enough resources to patrol that far."
"Well, people like me should join so they do."
It's a common argument for us and her fur stands on end. "Absolutely not, Thiv. You owe me at least another fifty years of being safe and boring for the first fifty you put me through as a kit. These last forty haven't been nearlyenough to heal the emotional scars left from random disappearances and near drownings."
My whiskers push forward at the memories her chiding provokes. "Every adventure was worth it."
Her whiskers twitch. "For you, possibly. For me? Why was I stuck with the oddest kit to grace the pride?"
I puff out my long mane in mock outrage. "I am an altogether normal male."
After a moment of holding the expression, we both break out in chuffing. Hers has a manic edge to it infused with her disbelief.
As usual, I own up to nothing.
She huffs out a breath and the weight of recent events shows on her face again. It strikes me that for the first time I can see signs of aging. The light purple around her muzzle isn't as vibrant as it once was and more of her black scales than normal show through her short orange and green fur.
I don't want to stress her further, but reality is harsh these days. "I understand your wishes, my dam, but at some point we'll have to defend ourselves. That means people like me need to do more than clean vents."
She slumps. "I know, Thivoll. I just don't want you to get hurt."
My jaw drops open, and for a moment no response comes to me. There must be more going on than she shared. I've been discussing joining since I was a young kit of thirty, but it always felt like that one step too far to push my harried dam.
I take in a breath but a proximity warning interrupts my response. I freeze when I see it. There's a weight in my chest and my limbs shake as I work through what's about to happen.
I almost tell her, then take the coward's way out.
"I'll have to return your call after my shift."
She hums in agreement. "Be safe," she orders me as the display fades.
If she only knew. "Call central command."
After an indicator boop, the call is connected.
"Central."
"A genali cruiser is inbound to my location."
"Notifying Sentinels. Standby for instructions."
I tune them out. Nothing they can do will help. The only protection would be fully funded Sentinels, which we won't have until they stop endlessly debating it in Session.
Abstainers are a formidable presence and their fear of males devolving into raving, venom-addicted beasts is greater than the genali threat.
In their view it is better to mutilate kits and ignore the abduction of women than return to our ancient empire seeking days.
