Fuck.
That's exactly what the military does.
I'm a recruiter. We have a stockpile of weapons forming. Doing inventory is one step away from requisitions and fucking paperwork. I have people out on missions.
He's right, dammit.
Of course I don't tell him that, but the least I can do is agree to not fling myself into any more trouble.
"I know. I'll be more careful."
"I believe you. You've showed it recently, but I'm going to keep repeating it until the horror wears off. Let other people help you. I know you can fight when you need to, but there is a substantial cost for you. In your mind and your self-image."
My hands tremble just thinking about the cuts I made on the braceaaer. I never want to do that again.
I mean, I will if I have to, but it's wrong to expect him to do it all.
"It doesn't feel fair to let you take the risk alone, Thiv."
"Listen, sweet one. I will kill them until there is no threat left. I'll even enjoy it. It's no weight for me. Let me carry it. Let me be that for us."
I take in a deep breath and then let it out just as slowly. Just talking about what I did makes me shake and cry.
"You're right. I can't handle it. I just keep seeing his blood on me. Over and over, no matter how many times I tell myself that he planned to rape and probably kill me."
"You're a healer Ree. We'll find more allies and more of your friends and soon you'll have an outlet for how much you drive yourself. I know it's hard right now, but soon you'll be able to help in ways that are better suited to your personality."
"I'll go crazy if I stay in this cave all the time."
"I know. How about you run with me for the first part of the night?"
"That could work," I concede.
"I would rather not range far to look for your friends, but I know why it's important to you. You are going to be sitting near the entrance with guns loaded and at the ready until I return."
He lets out a low chuff, then continues. "If you have to kill a hunter, I will hold you while you face-leak again."
I laugh. "I wascrying, not face-leaking, Fluff Brain."
My eyes fill up for a different reason altogether and I lean forward to kiss him near his whiskers.
"I believe in you, Superkitty."
He chuffs and runs his hands through my hair. I've never felt more cherished, and it wraps around my heart like a warm embrace.
"I'd be taunting genali from trees with no true purpose without you. It's me who believes in you."
