She doesn't need my feelings as an additional burden.
I shake myself from head to tail, flinging off remnant sand from the river right along with thoughts that lead nowhere good.
After a careful check of the rest of our cave, I lay down in the middle of the main room, my ears alert, my legs tucked under my chest, arms outstretched in front of me so I can be ready to spring up.
Even if she wanted me with her, I might not be able to be anywhere but out here.
Where I can stop any threat long before it gets to her.
Now I know genuine fear.
It's highly unpleasant, to say the least.
As much as I love the idea of personal freedom, and as much as I don't want to put her at risk of falling ill, I had an important realization today. In one of the worst ways possible.
She is far too protective for her own good. It's highly attractive, but it also has to stop.
I'm going to have to relive my glory days as a recalcitrant kit in order to tell her no. And keep telling her no. Or even simply ignore things I don't agree with, just like I did with my poor dam. Except this time for a far better cause than simple hijinks.
I'll have to stand firm, no matter how many wide-eyed beautiful aqua pleading looks she gives me.
She's the one who needs a protector, especially from her own helping impulse. Any time I need to stand firm I'll only need to think of that terrible moment I looked across the river to see her disappearing into the trees at gunpoint.
Or remember her absolute horror after she defended herself.
That male didn't deserve a single one of her thoughts, and yet I know the blows she dealt to him will haunt her. No one plunges into an icy river to wash off blood in such a frenzy if they aren't also trying to wash it off their soul.
It doesn't affect me like that, but anyone with eyes can tell she isn't someone who can hurt another without high cost.
If those aren't already plenty to help me hold on to my resolve, I can remember my terror.
Or the lost look in her eyes.
Yes, there's no danger of me changing my mind. The only thing left to do is to ensure the growing trust we have isn't damaged beyond repair.
Hopefully she will forgive me for today.
Then another thought occurs to me, and I feel like a dolt. It's been staring me right in my ugly face and I still haven't thought outside the confines of my species.
She's human.
I could lock her in this cave for years and she might hate me, but it wouldn't kill her.
No. That wouldn't be right.
Would it?
52
Ree
I walked away like a coward, the feelings too big, with a deep need to be away from him.
And yet I'm surrounded by his wild scent.
Orange fur of varying lengths, along with a few strands of bright green, puff into the air when I plop my butt down on the layered blankets.
My stomach is tight, pulling me forward, like it needs my shoulders as close as possible.
