I let out a huff, then make the connection between the topic and our current quest to find missing women.
"I think the genali picked me to be the leader because I seem timid. It's a mask I had to wear to survive my marriage. I was strong enough to leave him. I was too strong for them to break me. Deplorable people, just making me tougher."
"They all underestimated you," he says with confidence in his voice.
"They certainly did."
He shudders. "Even I get scared when I hear that tone in your voice and I still have my tail."
A laugh bubbles up. "Thivoll . . . You could kill me with a single paw. Maybe even with just one claw."
"Well, sure. Lots of things can kill us, but I'm not sleeping beside them."
I let out a cackle, and he joins me with his chuffing. I shush myself quickly, but laughing feels good.
It's official, though . . .
Our humor is getting worse and worse by the day.
We fall back into silence after that.
I realize with a start that I was able to talk about my ex without my heart racing. Is it because he is so far away? Or have I changed?
Either way, it feels like a significant improvement. Something else life-changing, but this one doesn't need any analysis.
My heart feels lighter than I ever remember it.
After a while I realize his ears keep coming back to the same cardinal direction, and he's making more of his whistling breaths to better sense smells, so I assume we're headed toward something.
Not long after, I hear a roar of water, then shortly after that we come to a river.
It's moving fast, with numerous rapids pounding against giant rocks. He pulls in another long breath and then runs up stream.
I'm finally getting curious enough to risk breaking our silence when I see what he's after. There's a cryochamber stuck among a logjam, the water breaking over one side of it in a fan of rushing current.
I can't make out who it is from this far away. Thivoll crouches down so I can climb down and then repositions himself so he can talk near my ear.
"I don't like what I smell here. I think I should take you back and return for her."
I don't like the idea of leaving her alone.
"What if that suddenly breaks through and she hits a rock so hard it breaks her chamber? She'd drown before she even woke up. I can't lose another one, Thivoll."
My chest constricts and my heart is pounding in my ears as I think of everything that could go wrong for this woman.
He growls. "You are my priority. I smell hunters everywhere."
I thread my hands in his fur. "I want to take the risk. I would never forgive myself. Unless you think you'd be hurt trying to get to her?"
"That isn't my concern. I don't want you here while I do it."
"How about a tree? I could—"
I break off my thought when I see another log headed toward the cryochamber.
There's no way it will miss her.
"Look!"
