My stomach lurched. How had I let myself forget that? She wasn’t mine, not really. What we had together was on borrowed time, a beautiful lie we were both telling ourselves. And one day, maybe soon, it’d all have to end.
Bile rose in my throat.
I needed to get out of this bed before I did something stupid, before I woke her up and told her things I had no right to say. Things like stay and choose me, and I think I’m falling in love with you.
Think?
I carefully reached for the blanket that had slipped down to her waist during the night and pulled it up to her neck. She immediately snuggled deeper into it, releasing my arm in the process as she burrowed into the warmth. Even in sleep, she was beautiful. Even in sleep, she was breaking my heart.
I took one last look at her, this woman who’d somehow become my everything in just a few months, and climbed out of bed. My Dickies shorts and old T-shirt were crumpled on the floor where I had kicked them off last night. Grabbing them, I dressed quickly, my hands shaking slightly as I pulled the fabric over my head.
I opened the bedroom door as quietly as possible and slipped out, closing it behind me with a soft click.
The apartment felt too empty without her awake in it. Too quiet. Too much like the life I used to have before she walked into it and turned my entire world upside down.
I needed coffee and maybe some quiet to think clearly, to remind myself why I didn’t do this, why I didn’t let people in, didn’t plan futures, and didn’t fall in love.
But as I walked down the hallway toward the kitchen, one thought followed me like a shadow.
It’s too late.
You’re already gone.
XVIII
“This was love: a string of coincidences that gathered significance and became miracles.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Chapter Nineteen
Kelechi
They say all good things always come to an end, but I never expected mine to come so soon. And of all days, New Year’s Day.
I curled deeper into Marley’s oversized couch, pulling the throw blanket up to my chin as another episode of Schitt’s Creek played on the television. She’d introduced me to this show two weeks ago, and now I was completely obsessed.
Snow continued to fall outside the living room window, thick flakes that resembled cotton balls dancing in the wind. Even after spending the entire holiday season here, the sight still mesmerised me. In Nigeria, the closest thing to snow was the harmattan dust that coated everything in December.
This was magic.
The front door creaked open, followed by the sound of boots being kicked off and muttered German cursing.
“Babe, you back?” I called, not taking my eyes off the screen where Alexis was delivering another perfectly deadpan line.
“Yeah,” Marley’s voice carried from the hallway. “This bloody snow is getting ridiculous.”
She appeared in front of me moments later, her cheeks flushed red from the cold, snowflakes still melting in her dark hair as she leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek. Her lips were cold but soft.
“Did you get the gas?” I asked, tilting my face up.
“Yeah, I did.” She grinned. “And… I also got you these.”
She pulled a bouquet of sunflowers from behind her back, bright yellow blooms that seemed to bring actual sunshine into the grey winter day.
“Marley!” I squealed, launching myself off the couch and into her arms. The flowers crushed slightly between us, but I didn’t care. “They’re beautiful! How did you even find these? I read that they weren’t common in winter.”
She chuckled, her arms tightening around me. “The florist said they were the last ones, and I thought they reminded me of you.”
