The nickname made my stomach do that strange little flip again.
There was something about her voice, the thick accent that made certain consonants hit harder.
“It talks about gender conformance and the social construction of identity. About how people express themselves outside traditional binary expectations.”
“Very academic.” She tilted her head. “But what do you actually think?”
“About what?”
“About me. About the way I look, the way I present myself. Do you think it’s some sort of rebellion, or do you think this is just who I am?”
The question caught me off guard.
Before I knew it I was taking her in. The unapologetic posture, the composure, the complete lack of self-consciousness. There was something truly magnetic about it.
“I think,” I said slowly, “you’re exactly who you want to be. And that’s probably why you seem so sure of yourself.”
Her expression changed. The defensive edge on it softened into surprise..or shock. I couldn’t tell which.
“Does my confidence make you uncomfortable?”
Before I could answer, she reached across the table and took the textbook from my hands, our fingers brushing in the process.
The contact was brief, but it sent a small jolt through me.
Her hands were warm, slightly rough, and for one dangerous second, I wondered how they would feel?—
I shut the thought down immediately, horrified at where my mind was going.
“Let’s see what brilliant insights this has to say about gender fluidity,” she said, flipping through the pages.
But my brain was still stuck on her question.
Why would I find her confidence uncomfortable?
It didn’t, I realised.
If anything, it intrigued me.
Which was somehow worse.
“So,” she said, looking up from the book, “cultural adaptation and gender expression. How do we make this work without killing each other?”
I forced myself to focus on academics, on safe ground.
“Maybe we could explore how different cultural contexts shape the expression and acceptance of non-binary gender identities?”
“Not terrible,” she admitted. “But let’s avoid the whole ‘Western liberation versus traditional oppression’ angle. It’s reductive.”
“Agreed. What if we focused on specific case studies? Individual stories rather than broad generalisations?”
“Better.” She leaned forward, suddenly animated. “We could interview people from different cultural backgrounds about their gender expression experiences. Make it personal, not just theoretical.”
“Interview people?” My voice came out higher than intended. “Like, actual people?”
“That’s generally how interviews work, yes.”
The dry humour in her response made my lips twitch despite my nervousness.
