“I know I hurt you?—”
“You don’t know the half of it, Do you know how devastated I’ve been ever since you left? Do you know I failed two assignments because I couldn’t concentrate? Do you know how many times Atlas had to drag me out of bed because I couldn’t see the point in getting up?”
She was crying harder now, her whole body shaking. “Baby, please, I’m so sorry?—”
“Sorry doesn’t fix weeks of pain. Sorry doesn’t undo the nights I stayed awake replaying every conversation we had, trying to figure out how I lost you.”
“You didn’t lose me. You never lost me.” She took a step closer. “Every day away from you felt like I was dying.”
“Then why?” The question that had been eating at me finally broke free. “Why did you leave at first?”
“Because I was scared.” She dropped to her knees right there in front of me, in the middle of my bedroom, her hands pressed together. “Because I spent my whole life being what everyone else needed me to be, and when it came time to choose what I wanted, I panicked.”
Something about seeing her on her knees made my anger falter.
“Get up. You don’t need to?—”
“Yes, I do.” She looked up at me with red, swollen eyes. “I need to be on my knees because I threw away the most precious thing in my life. I destroyed us because I was too scared to disappoint people who were never going to love me unconditionally anyway.”
“What do you mean?” I found myself kneeling in front of her.
“My family disowned me. When I told them I couldn’t marry him because I was in love with you, my father…” She touched the corner of her mouth where I’d noticed the healing cut. “He called me an abomination and hit me so hard.”
White-hot rage flashed through me. “He hit you?”
She nodded, fresh tears spilling over. “They said I had brought shame on the family and they told me never to come back.”
Without thinking, I reached out and brushed my fingers lightly over the cut on her lip. She closed her eyes at the contact, leaning into my touch as though she had been starved of it.
“He hurt you,” I whispered, my voice shaking with fury. Not at her, but at them. At anyone who could hurt her like that.
“It doesn’t matter.” She opened her eyes, catching my wrist and pressing my palm against her cheek. “None of it matters except you. I chose you, Marley. I stood there in front of everyone and chose you.”
“But you came here looking so…” I paused, my anger shifting into something softer, more protective. “Look at you. You’re exhausted and hurt and?—”
“And terrified that you’ll send me away.” Her voice cracked completely. “Terrified that I waited too long, that I hurt you too badly.”
I studied her properly then. The shadows under her eyes, the cut on her lip, the way she was shaking like a leaf.
“You did,” I said softly, still cupping her face. “You fucked me up so badly I thought I might not survive it.”
“I know. I know, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it if you’ll let me.”
“What makes you think I should let you?” But my voice had lost its edge. My thumb traced over her cheekbone, wiping away tears.
“Nothing. I have no right to ask. But I adore you so deeply it feels like I’m drowning without you. I care enough to walk away from everything I’ve ever known. I care enough to beg.”
“You shouldn’t have to beg for love.”
“I’m not begging you to love me. I know you care about me. I can see it in your eyes right now, even though you’re furious with me. I’m begging for a chance to prove I deserve it.”
I was quiet for a long moment, processing everything she’d said.
“So what now? You think you can just show up here and everything goes back to the way it was?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I know it doesn’t work like that. I know I have to earn back your trust. I know I have to prove that I’m serious about this, about us, about building a life together.”
“What kind of life? You don’t even know what you want.”
