As I drive away, I can’t help but wonder if I can even survive the game I’m playing. It’s far too dangerous. And I can’t seemto keep myself from deviating from the path of the good older brother I’m supposed to follow.
Twenty-Five
Damien
Ihear the roar of our car’s engine as it speeds away, and sigh. I don’t even wanna go to Jacob. It was just an excuse to try and persuade Killien to stay with me, but it didn’t work. Of course. Nothing does.
Sometimes, I wish I could just be normal. I wish I could have feelings for other people. Then, maybe, I wouldn’t have to be avoiding Jacob and his loving eyes. Breaking him was a mistake, because now he’s more in love with me than ever.
Fuck my life.
Fuck all of this, seriously.
I stop walking, knowing that if I show up at Jacob’s shop, he won’t let me leave. Especially if he sees me in this little outfit I put together for Killien. At least I caught him staring more than once. His jaw almost dropped the moment I stepped through the front door in these jeans.
But why is he taking so long to do something? Why won’t he act on his impulses? What the hell do I have to do to make him react? Maybe I should slap his face with my fucking cock. Would he reject me if I did that?
Goddammit. How am I supposed to know?
I take a deep breath and roll my shoulders back, forcing my body to relax. I feel uneasy, have been so for a few weeks. It’s like I’m certain that something’s wrong, but I can’t quite figure out what it is. Like something bad is coming.
Knowing that Killien is going to be alone with Owen unsettles me, and it’s notjustthat I’m raging jealous—which I am. There’s something about him that triggers a sixth sense in me, something that screams danger to the supernatural creature I’ve become.
For a minute, I stand in the middle of the sidewalk, humans glowering at me as if I should move aside for them to keep walking. But I couldn’t care less about that. I’m gonna do what I should have done at the very beginning. I’m going right after my ginger angel to see what the hell he’s up to with Owen.
If anything, it should ease my mind to know that he’s okay. Maybe I’ll learn something I can use to break whatever chain is holding him back. There has to besomethingI can do to push his buttons and make him let loose.
And it has to be him who makes the move, right? He’s the one having doubts, not me. What if I start it and he freaks out? That would destroy me, for sure. I’ve been into him for way too long, and I don’t think I could live with his rejection.
Finally, I trace my steps back and walk in the same direction our car went. It won’t take me long to get there, anyway. It’s better than having to deal with Jacob and his relentless affection that makes me feel guilty as fuck.
I’m gonna find a way to break you, Killi. Even if it’s the very last thing I do.
Our black SUV is parked in the driveway, right next to Owen’s car. His house is boring; it doesn’t stand out from the others on this street. White siding, small front porch, a few low shrubs lining the concrete driveway. All of it clean and perfectly maintained.
It might be better camouflage for a vampire than the rundown house Ledger left us in, though. Maybe we should consider moving. At least we don’t have to pay rent as long as we stay at Ledger’s, I suppose.
Focus, Damien. For fuck’s sake.
My heart races as I sneak past the white fence on the side of the house. There’s nobody around, apparently. The street is quiet, and the neighboring house looks empty. No car in the driveway, no lights on, no human noises. Good, I don’t have to worry so much about being seen by the neighbor.
Owen has a small backyard, empty but well-kept, with a neat lawn section and a white gravel area with a fire pit. The only noises around me, besides the birds chirping, are the voices coming from inside the house. There’s an open sliding glass door that leads to the back patio. I sneak closer, keeping my back against the wall until I’m next to the door, where Owen and Killien can’t see me if they’re looking this way.
“You look really tense, Killien.” Owen’s voice is the first thing I hear, and I just have to roll my eyes at the sound.
Ugh, I hate him.
I particularly hate my brother’s name on his lips. Makes me wanna cut his freaking vocal chords so he can’t speak anymore. There’s a long silence, during which I assume Killien is struggling to find something to say.
He’s been particularly tense for the past weeks, but he won’t tell me what’s wrong. I hope he doesn’t tell this asshole either. I don’t know if I can live knowing that he trusts this boring-ass motherfucker more than he trusts me.
I hear heavy footsteps moving farther away from the door. It must be Owen, because my brother is much more delicate and soft when he moves. I know how to identify his footsteps, learnt that a long time ago. There’s a particular rhythm to them, somehow. Like everything else Killien does. My ginger angel is special like that.
Or maybe I just have an unhealthy obsession with my brother . . . Whatever. Don’t care.
“Are you hungry?” The tone of Owen’s voice almost makes me gag. All sultry and . . . ugh. What the fuck is he doing tomyKilli right now? I need to see.
“Kind of . . .” Killien sounds completely off, more than he did on the ride to Jacob’s shop.
