I let my hand slide down Killien’s back and get off the sofa. “I’m gonna get changed. Will you drop me at Jacob’s, or should I take the car?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll drop you off.” His eyes follow me as I walk out of the living room, but I don’t look back.
My blood is fizzing with jealousy and rage, but there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I can keep Killien away from Owen, after all. He can do whatever he wants. Interfering now would only push him away again. How could I possibly tell my brother not to see Owen, when I’m about to go to Jacob? He better have something good to distract me from this mess.
Jacob is tidying up his apartment while I sit at the dining table. The glass surface is cold under my fingertips as I tap it impatiently, watching him clean the matching coffee table and rearrange the ashtray and books on top of it. I’m still expecting a proper apology, but he hasn’t said much yet. The tension in his shoulders tells me that he’s either nervous or upset. But it’s okay; I’ll help him relax. That’s one thing we can do for each other.
“So?” I switch to playing with the pencil attached to his iPad, rolling it between my fingers. “Why did you ask me to come over?”
He stops in his tracks to look at me over his shoulder, one of the small black pillows he’s arranging on the sectional frozen in his hands. His brown eyes seem to darken. If he wants a fight, I’m up for it. My pocketknife is always with me, just in case. I can win, I’m sure. We’ll end up fucking anyway—I’m not going back home otherwise.
“What happened last night wasn’t okay,” Jacob says, before returning to his task. I get the feeling that he’s pretending to tidy up to keep his hands busy. The living room is perfectly clean already; no traces of the cigarettes from last night remain on the ashtray, and the tiled floor is already shiny and smelling of some fresh cleaning product.
“No, it definitely wasn’t.” I drop the pencil on the glass and lean back on the leather chair, it doesn’t creak or feel like it’s going to collapse like the ones at our home. “The way you threatened Killien is unacceptable.”
Jacob huffs, shoving the pillow on the sectional before stomping towards me. He’s pissed. How fuckinghot. I hope he hits me, so I can retaliate with a good old stab in the gut. It’s not like we can kill each other with a little violence, right? That train of thoughts startles me a little bit. And yet, I can’t help but let my deranged smile out.
“Is that really your main concern?” he asks as he leans forward and glares angrily at me, pressing his hands against the pristine surface of the table. His face is close enough to mine that I can feel his hot and sweet breath.
“Yes.” My grin widens. “You might not know it, but I used to get in trouble all the time. Between the bullies in my middle school years and the amount of mischief I got up to later on, I had Killien saving my ass every single day. Not to mention the amount of crap that happened in my recentsugar babyyears . . .” He flinches ever so slightly at my last words, clenching his jaw and huffing out through his nose. “My brother stood by me through it all, no matter the consequences. Now it’s my turn.”
“You’re not worried that they’ll catch him?”
“They won’t, Jacob.” I lean closer to his lips, almost brushing against them. The leather upholstery of the chair makes a little noise as it rubs against my studded belt. “Nothing will happen. It’s fine.”
The tension in his shoulders is obvious as he resists the temptation to kiss me, heat emanating from his body in waves. Fuck, I want him. It’s almost like I’ve forgotten why I was so angry in the first place. That’s the thing about me, my brain becomes useless as soon as I see the chance for sex and violence. They both excite me way more than they should.
“You seem very confident,honey,” he hisses.
Oh, he’s enraged. I want him to get real rough on me. I’m craving it.
I brush the tip of my nose against his, just to tease him a bit more. “Of course I am.”
Jacob takes a deep breath, but doesn’t speak. The closeness to his scent is giving me the chills. All I can think about is the way he made me come last night. I want more of that. I want to lose myself in that frenzy again. It blew my mind, quite literally. Thesilence drags on for what seems like forever, until I can’t take it anymore.
“Are you gonna fuck me or what?” I ask, staring into his dark eyes. They burn with desire and anger alike, which tells me that I’m gonna have a lot of fun. Rough, bloody fun. Exactly what I need.
One of Jacob’s hands wraps around my neck, pushing me back into the chair, the tan leather sticking to my arms and the back of my neck. I hiss at the beautiful pain as my eyes light up. I can’t control how my body reacts to the thrill of violence; it turns me on like throwing gasoline at a roaring fire. But it’s not just me, is it? Jacob’s eyes flicker a few times, as if he’s trying to fight it back.
“Is that what you came here for?” he asks, pressing harder on my throat.
“Yeah.” My grin widens even further. What’s the point of lying?
“Did you like it that much,honey? It’s been just a few hours and you’re already begging for more?” Jacob’s voice is almost a purr as his fingers press deeper into the sides of my neck.
“I loved it, yes. I want more,” I whisper, out of breath from the way he’s choking me.
Jacob yanks me out of the chair, pushing the entire dining set to the side as he does so. I guess having a tidy apartment wasn’t so important, after all. His grip on my neck tightens as he drags me to his bedroom. I groan, letting him boss me around like I’m featherlight.
I really love it when I’m treated like this. I want it hard, I want it rough, and I want it tohurt. Now more than ever before. As Jacob drops me on the bed, I can’t help but chuckle at how easy it was to get what I wanted from him. I might have him wrapped around my little finger already.
Seventeen
Killien
Guilt is a horrible feeling, and it’s one I’m only starting to get used to now. It wasn’t a part of my life before. I used to have nothing to hide. But not anymore.
I dig my fingers into Caleb’s hips as he rides me, groaning and moaning like I never have before. His resemblance to Damien in this particular moment is playing tricks on my mind. He looks down at me with those bright blue eyes, and I can’t see Caleb. It’s just not possible. And it’s also not fair.
