We were both close. I could feel it in the way her body shook, in the little tremor beneath her skin. I slowed down, trying to draw it out, but she wouldn’t let me. She milked my body with hers, urging me on, until we both shattered at the same moment. The orgasm hit me like a crash, violent and all-consuming, the kind that made me forget my own name. I saw stars.
When it was over, I collapsed onto her, both of us still shaking. I rolled to the side, not wanting to crush her, and pulledher so her head was resting on my chest as I ran my hand up and down her back as we lay wrapped in each other, and I wondered if I’d just made the best mistake of my life.
We didn’t talk for a long time. Just breathed together, hearts racing out of sync but not entirely mismatched. She traced lazy circles on my chest, and I tried not to fuck it all up by saying something dumb. I could feel the world starting to creep back in, the responsibilities, the consequences, the long shadow of everything that came before. But for a minute, we just existed. No past, no future, just now.
And then, of course, the bubble was burst.
My phone buzzed, it vibrated against the floor in the pocket of my pants. I rested my forehead against hers. “I would ignore it, but the girls…”
She nodded, and I moved from underneath her, to the side of the bed, swinging my legs over as I sat up. I fished my phone out of my pocket and answered the call.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Mr. Knight, this is Carly. I was just checking to see if you wanted me to feed the twins. They are hungry and?—”
“No, that’s okay, Carly, I’ll be home soon. They can have snacks if they want. Thanks so much again. And you can call me Adam.”
I put down the phone and looked at Billie, who was now seated with the sheet wrapped around her chest like an emotional drawbridge. In the quick flip of a switch, the mood in the room had changed. The closeness and warmth were replaced by something distant, anxious, already running away from what we’d just done.
She turned her back to me and began gathering her clothes from the floor, folding each piece with careful precision. I wanted to say something to fix it, but the words caught in mythroat. There was a wall between us, freshly built, higher than ever.
“Billie—”
“Bailey messaged me, too. She’s worried. We need to go.” Her tone was clipped as she stood, walked into the bathroom, and shut the door.
As I watched her go, I knew that I fucked up. Literally.
19
BILLIE
Was pretendingI had to reply to emails, so I didn’t have to speak to Adam on the drive back to Bailey’s a copout? Yes, yes it was. But I could barely look at him, much less speak to him.
What happened between us was…I couldn’t process what had just happened. For years I’d built my first time with Adam up in my head, never actually thinking it would become a reality, and now it had. And it was better than I’d ever imagined.
Being with Adam wasn’t just having sex, it was more than that. I felt connected to him. One with him. Owned by him. But now…now what? Nothing had changed.
He left. He didn’t speak to me for twenty years. He had twin daughters. I don’t want kids. He’s just broken up with a British supermodel, G.I. Jane, who he was probably going to get back together with.
That was rebound sex for him. It had to be. So many thoughts were swirling in my head, and none of them were good. All I knew was that I needed to get away from him.
I was almost tempted to stay with Birdie. If her rocker fiancé didn’t drop into town whenever he felt like it because he basically treated my baby sister like a booty call, I would staywith her. But there was no way I wanted to be the third wheel when there were no walls.
There was always a hotel, but my sisters would freak out. And I couldn’t blame them. I’d feel the same. The only logical choice was Grandma and Grandpa’s, now Bailey and Cole’s. There was plenty of room, despite six people already living there.
Adam pulled up into his driveway, and as I reached for the handle and said, “Thank you—,” he locked the door.
My head spun toward him.
“We need to talk.” His tone, expression, and stare were serious.
Why couldn’t he be like every other man on the planet and want to brush something under the rug? There was theone timehe’d famously run away and avoided having any conversation altogether, but besides that, Adam had always been a good communicator, with me at least. Everyone else he barely said shit to.
I could guilt trip him for wanting to talknow, suggesting it is too little too late. Or I could just tell him that it’s been a long day, which it had.
Too little too late? Long day?
“It’s been a long day,” I sighed, he had zero reaction. “It’s been a long couple of days. I haven’t been sleeping.”
