I’d always hoped that if this day came, the baby I gave up would accept my apology and if I was really lucky forgive me. Hearing her say I was brave. That I was strong, that was almost too much to process. Actually, itwastoo much.
I needed to change the subject. “Maddox said that you grew up in Vermont. Did you like it?”
She nodded and started telling me about her favorite spots and activities there. Lina and I sat and talked for hours. Three and a half hours to be exact. She told me about her childhood, her parents, her hopes and dreams, which finding Maddox and I were on the top of, and she asked me about my life. About my work, about my relationships. I told her about Nonna and she was so excited to meet her once she was feeling better.
As I sat, having one of the best conversations of my life, I knew that I had one person to thank for it. Maddox. Without him, I wouldn’t have found her. He was more than just the love of my life; he was my hero. He made the impossible possible.
35
MADDOX
My neck stretchedas I peeked into the media room and checked on the girls to make sure their attention was solely focused on the screen in front of them. Lexi, Bella and Hannah were glued to the TV as they watched baby Moana get leis thrown over her head while her father sang to her about her village in the songWhere You Are.
With ninja-like stealth, I slid the barn door shut. As I walked back down the hall, with one tap on my phone, I activated the alarm to that room so that I would be notified if any little ears were about to make an appearance.
When I entered what the overpriced designer I’d hired when I’d renovated this place labeled my farmhouse-chic kitchen I found Alex staring down at the phone in his hand. Against his chest baby Penelope was sound asleep in a BabyBjörn front-facing carrier, a tiny bubble of drool sat in the corner of her mouth.
I crossed the room and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. There was nothing as sweet as the smell of a baby. I inhaled the sweet goodness as I sighed. “I can’t believe she’s already nine months old.”
It seemed like just yesterday we’d been summoned to San Francisco General when Sadie’s water broke at two a.m.
Alex shook his head and sighed. “I can’t believe in six weeks, I’m going to have another one.”
“Are you guys going to find out what you’re having?” There’d been a great debate when Sadie was pregnant with Penelope whether or not they’d find out the gender. In the end, they’d waited for the big reveal at delivery.
“I want to, but Sadie doesn’t.”
“So you’re not going to find out,” I concluded.
The signature goofy grin he only got when he was talking about Sadie spread on Alex’s face. “Exactly.”
From what I’d seen, Sadie didn’t take advantage of the fact that she had Alex wrapped around her little finger, but that’s exactly where she had him.
“Okay, so what’s the big emergency? I cancelled a date to be here.” Nick, apparently tired of all the baby talk, tossed a piece of popcorn up in the air and caught it in his mouth.
It seemed like I’d had this information forever, but in reality, I’d found out I had a child on Monday. Who she was on Tuesday. Told Peyton about her last night. And tonight, I was telling the guys. This was honestly the first opportunity I’d had.
As excited as I was to share the news, I wasn’t sure where to start, so I just blurted out, “So it turns out I have a daughter.”
They both just stared at me blankly until Nick shrugged. “No shit, Sherlock.”
Right.They thought I was talking about Hannah. I hadn’t worded that correctly. I’d gotten even less sleep than normal this past week and I was sort of running on fumes. “No, not Hannah. I have a twenty-year old daughter with Peyton.”
“Holy fuck!” Nick exclaimed.
That was closer to the reaction I’d expected.
“Shhh,” I hushed him. “I haven’t told Hannah yet.”
“What?” Nick questioned. “Why not?”
“Because I just found out on Monday that Peyton had a baby after she moved to Germany. She didn’t have any information about her, didn’t have any idea what happened to her. I didn’t find out who she was until Tuesday.”
“Wait, you found her?” Nick clarified.
I nodded.
“Where does she live?” Alex asked. “Are you going to contact her.”
