“Horny?” she offered.
I chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Peyton had always had a way of easing my stress. No matter what was going on at the group home or at school or anything, if I could talk to her, everything was fine. Even if nothing got solved. She just diffused any anxiety in me.
We stopped in front of her room, and she pulled her key card out of her clutch.
“Well, this is me.”
“This is you.” There was so much more I wanted to say, needed to say, planned a million times in my head to say if I ever saw her again, but for some reason, I couldn’t think of anything except, don’t go. Don’t go inside your room. Stay with me.
Since I couldn’t say those things, I didn’t say anything.
She lifted up on her toes and her arms snaked around my neck. “It was good seeing you, Maddox.”
I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around her and pull her to me, but I was so scared if I did that, I’d never let her go. So instead, I just patted her back with one arm and kept the other at my side. “You, too, Peyton.”
I saw the confusion on her face as she leaned back, before she turned and opened her door.
“Take care of yourself,” I said as she walked inside.
She turned back to me. “You, too.”
Before the door shut, I started down the hall toward my room. I had to leave before I did something I’d regret, like push the door open, pin her up against the wall, and kiss her with all the pent-up love, anger, sadness, and desire that had been building up inside of me like a pressure cooker and was about ready to explode.
For so many years, I’d thought that if I saw her again, I’d finally get the closure that I’d been missing. Instead, I just had more questions. I did get one answer, though.
I’d always wondered if the connection we’d had was as strong, as potent, as real as I’d remembered and I got my answer. No. It wasn’t. It was stronger, more potent, more real.
10
PEYTON
“Don’t. Do. It,”I whispered as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror.
Tonight had been magical. Perfect. It was better than I could have ever imagined. If I went to his room that would ruin the perfect night we’d shared.
I’d always wondered if what we’d shared all those years ago had been real, or if I’d just built it up in my head.
I had my answer. It was real. It was so real that I couldn’t go see him. Because if I did, I’d destroy it.
Plus, I’d already washed my face and changed into my pajamas. If I was going to have the balls to go to his room, I should have done it before I was in sweatpants and a T-shirt.
I turned the bathroom light off and was heading to my bed when I heard a knock on my door. My heart instantly lodged in my throat and I froze. Maddox was here. It had to be him. No one else knew what room I was in.
My breaths were choppier than waves in a hurricane as I slowly and walked across my room. I told myself to pull it together but when I opened the door and saw Maddox standing on the other side, I started to tear up. His hands were clasped behind his neck, and he was looking down. When he looked up, I could see he was just as conflicted about being there as I was about going to his room.
We stared at each other, neither saying a word. The air between us was so thick, I was choking on it.
Why was it like this with us?
Why did the atmosphere change when we were in the same space?
Why did every cell in my body come alive when he was near?
I opened the door wider. “Do you want to come in?”
His jaw ticked and his nostrils flared. Indecision danced in his dark whiskey stare.
