“The investors on the Trenton project are getting cold feet because of the permit delays. You need to sign off on the Sydney itinerary.”
I had an upcoming trip to Australia that I’d been putting off for a couple of months. I hated leaving Lexi. I was only going to be down under for three days, and I’d considered taking her with me. But the flight was so long there and back, I didn’t want to subject a four-year-old to the time difference and jet lag.
“You have thirty emails sitting in your inbox that you haven’t responded to and I moved your lunch with Miller today to next Friday.”
“Why?” I’d planned on asking her to move the lunch so that I could meet Nick and Maddox but hadn’t informed her of that.
She began typing, her gaze remained on her computer screen. “The article came out today. I assumed Maddox and Nick would want to…celebrate.” The corners of her lips twitched as she said the word celebrate before the screen went black and the call disconnected.
I was glad that someone found this amusing because I sure as hell didn’t. The last thing I wanted was more attention on my social life, or lack thereof. I just wanted everyone to leave me the fuck alone. People could be single. It wasn’t a crime.
Lexi was still sound asleep when I walked into her room. She looked like an angel, so peaceful, so sweet. My chest expanded with love as I looked at her.
She was so perfect right now. I knew that I probably wasn’t going to feel that way in a few years. From what I’d been told, girls in their teens were not easy. I was happy that I’d have Maddox and Nick in it with me. Their daughters were roughly the same age as Lexi and all three would be teenagers together.
The blinds in her room that were set on a timer, rolled up and the sun shone brightly into her unicorn palace.
“Good morning, Nugget!”
Just like Mrs. G, Lexi was not a morning person. It took her at least an hour before she was fully alert.
“It’s a big day today. You’re going to see Dr. Finch.”
Lexi was having her physical for kindergarten today. I’d offered to take her several times, but she was going through a bit of an independent streak. Either that or she knew that if Mrs. G took her, she’d get a lot better reward after the doctor’s appointment. I pretty much told her the sticker they handed out was her treat. With Mrs. G there was usually ice cream.
Making sure that Lexi wasn’t spoiled just because I had the means and desire to do so, was a constant internal tug of war for me. Mrs. G didn’t suffer with that battle. She pretty much let the girl have anything she wanted.
I figured that’s what grandparents did. Even though Mrs. G wasn’t blood-related to Lexi, she was the only grandmother she’d ever known.
I never knew who my parents were. I’d been a ward of the state since I was three months old. I’d watched kids in the system go to court because their families were trying to regain custody of them. That never happened to me. No one ever came to fight to get me back.
Growing up, I’d always thought that once I had the resources to find out who my parents were, I would do that. But once I had AJ, and felt the love I had for him, I knew there was nothing and no one that could have kept me from him, so I never looked for the parties that contributed to my DNA.
I had a family. I had Ash and AJ. Until I didn’t…
When Ashley and AJ died, Mrs. G came back to San Francisco to help me with Lexi, who was born the same day I lost them. Once she got here, she just never left. The arrangement was supposed to be temporary, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave my baby girl with anyone else.
I’d tried to hire nannies and use babysitter referral services. I’m sure that most of the candidates I’d interviewed were lovely people. But after what I’d experienced as a child in the system, I had trust issues.
When AJ was little, we didn’t have any money for date night much less childcare. Ash stayed home with him, and when we did go out, Maddox or Nick were our only babysitters.
Now, I had all the money any person could ever need for a lifetime and none of it meant anything to me. My little girl was the most precious thing in the world to me, and I would do anything to protect her.
Money couldn’t buy trust. I could count on one hand the people I trusted with Lexi. Mrs. G, Mia, Nick and Maddox.
I picked up the robe that was draped over the end of the bed. “Time to get up,” I encouraged her gently. No reason to poke the bear.
Lexi sat up with her eyes still closed and held her arms out to the sides. I slid her robe on her right then left arm, like the princess she was.
Like I said, it was a constant tug of war between giving her everything her heart desired materially and pampering her versus raising her to be an independent person with the aptitude and confidence to face adversity and challenges and also be a contributing member of society.
Without even opening her lids a slit she stood and shuffled off to the bathroom.
“Don’t forget to brush your teeth,” I reminded her cheerily.
Her response was to shut the door.
I went into the kitchen and whipped up a spinach and pepper omelet for Mrs. G and wheat pancakes with fresh fruit for Lexi. Our morning routine was like a well-oiled machine. It hadn’t happened by accident. Everything I’d read, every therapist and early childhood development specialist I’d spoken to when Lexi was a baby said that children thrived in a consistent environment.
