We’re coming back for you.
My thighs startto burn a few hours into our trip. Riding a horse isn’t as easy as it looks, and I’m not even the one doing the work. I’m certain I would have fallen off at least a dozen times if it wasn’t for Zephyr’s arms around me, keeping me firmly in place. I do my best not to show my discomfort, but the man is too observant for his own good.
“We can rest,” he says for the fourth time.
“If you tell me to rest one more time, Zephyr Zefferson, I will turn around and push you off this damn horse.”
“Zefferson?”
“I don’t know your last name!” I exclaim, exasperated.
I swear the man smirks at me. I can’t see it, but I feel it. We fall into silence after that. Only the sound of Finnick speaking animatedly to a poor man in front of usabout the time he fell into a chalice of mead and almost drowned carries over to us.
“It’s Ashoar,” Zephyr says after a beat of silence.
“Hmm?”
“My last name. It’s Ashoar, same as Niko,” he repeats. “Not Zefferson.”
“Oh, right. Ashoar. That’s…nice,” I say lamely. It’s a small insight of who he is but makes me realize I’m attracted to a man I know virtually nothing about. Even if he’ll never be my mate, he is still mates with Niko and will be in my life forever. He’s seen me…all of me, and I know very little about him.
“I suppose I should have known that. But considering you never open up to me unless it’s about Niko, I don’t particularly know much about you.” The words leave my lips before I can stop them. They’re angry, bitter, and said with resentment I didn’t know I harbored.
Zephyr doesn’t speak, but I guess I can’t blame him.
My chest tightens, very aware of the awkward tension I just created. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have?—”
“I deserve your ire,” he says, shocking me into silence. “You’re correct. I’ve kept you at a distance because I thought it would be better for me. I thought it would protect you.”
“Why did you think you needed to protect me?” I whisper, desperate to know the answer. Why he’s kept his distance and refuses to mate with me. “I’m not as fragile as you think I am. Help me understand, Zephyr.”
He takes in a deep breath, his arm tightening around me. I’m fully aware that I’m asking no small feat of him,so I don’t push. I wait patiently for him to speak what I’ve been desperately wanting to know since I’ve arrived.
The silence stretches between us; only the sound of Finnick’s laughter and the soft trot of horses can be heard. And still, I wait.
Just when I think Zephyr has changed his mind, he finally speaks. “My parents died in battle when I was just a boy. At least that was the official statement.”
I knew something must have happened in his past, but I didn’t realize this was it. “What really happened?”
I feel him tense behind me. Then: “They killed each other in a fit of jealous rage.”
I suck in a deep breath, letting the words wash over me like a tidal wave. Zephyr continues before I can say anything, as if he needs to get the words out before he can talk himself out of it.
“I grew up with two fathers and a mother. I was their only child. It was quite obvious who my biological father was based off looks, even if no one would speak it out loud. I think that was the start of the jealousy. My mother having a child with only one of them over the other. Kaeson, my mother’s other husband, grew resentful of Rhodri, my biological father. My mother grew tired of them bickering, and that soon turned into resentment for both of them.
“They never dealt with their anger and bitterness. They let their resentment simmer over the years until it became its own entity.” Zephyr pauses, carefully deciding his next words.
“Then, one day, everything came to a head,” he says softly. “But it wasn’t like their usual arguments. Thistime, it was different. It turned violent—truly violent. Their shouting escalated until swords were drawn. It happened so fast. The air was filled with the clash of steel and the sounds of pain—grunts, cries, the kind that come from real wounds, not sparring. Blood was everywhere.
“Kaeson struck first. He killed Rhodri. I don’t think he meant to—not at first. But once it happened…it broke something in my mother. Rhodri was her favorite. She never said it outright, but it was clear. The way she looked at him, protected him, forgave him.”
His voice lowers. “After that, she turned on Kaeson. And he didn’t back down. They fought like two storms colliding; both of them landed fatal blows.
“Then everything just…stopped,” he says. “No more fighting. No more noise. I watched the whole thing, but I was just a boy and was scared. I did nothing but watch them bleed out. Dead by their own bitter jealousy. I screamed for them, begged them to come back, but they were already lost to me.”
“Oh, Zephyr…” I want to hold him, take him in my arms and shield him from the memories assaulting his mind. He was just a child when he found his family dead. Losing my parents gutted me, but if I had lost them in such a violent manner? I don’t think I would be here today. Zephyr holds so much in, thinking he needs to be strong for everyone around him, while he’s the one carrying so much pain.
I provide the only comfort I can, placing my hand down upon his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You didn’t deserve that. What they did wasn’t your fault. It wastheir own. But you, Zephyr? You have so much love in you. I feel it. Niko feels it.” I hesitate before adding, “I understand why you don’t want to court me, but I also need you to know that if you ever opened your heart to me, I would cherish it. We wouldn’t end up like your parents.”
