“It is my main ambition to protect her from Leanan. You have no idea of the things she is willing to do for power.”
“Then why don’t you tell me what she did? I’m your brother. If you trust neither me nor your mate, who will you be able to trust at all?”
“I trust you both. I just couldn’t stand the pity. I don’t want to see my woman being hurt, so I’ll stay careful with my actions and information. I wouldn’t survive the feeling of being the reason she’d be in pain.”
“Brother, you should really stop worrying about what she can’t take. Gwendolyn is much stronger than we think. Leanan’s intention in torturing you was for your trauma to drive a wedge between you and Gwendolyn. You think you made the right decision in order to protect her, when you know she is bound by fate to you. She was made to see all of our darkest parts and love them.”
Maybe my brother was right. The whole time I didn’t want her to see all of me, as I thought it would tarnish her beautiful soul. It was never imaginable to me that I would walk into her life, a total stranger at first, and that I would ever become so important to her. Bond or not, I did not care. And while we’ve only knowneach other personally for a short time. I felt as if my soul had already loved her for a lifetime.
Chapter 33
I needed to leave this room as fast as possible, feeling myself on the edge of bursting into tears. My entire soul felt like it was breaking apart, and I wasn’t sure how long I could hold it together. I was so angry—so angry at myself and how I wasn’t able to keep my emotions in check. The thought of Malakai putting my protection above his well-being and even risking our bond to see the woman who abused him again made me sick and angry.
I wanted to be the one protecting him, and yet I felt helpless. The disappointment I felt about this entire situation stirred the chaos inside me, making me dizzy and confused.
How could he even consider meeting up with her again after what she’d done to him, after what she had taken fromus?
“Baby, calm down. Let me help you,” Xavier spoke softly behind me. But I didn’t want to look him in the eyes and to allow my pain to become his. This weight on my shoulders, the overwhelming pain offeeling too much. I’d always been sensitive, flooded by too many emotions and guilt, but I could not bear that Xavier would drown in my madness as well.
I kept on going without any kind of direction until he grabbedme by my waist and pinned my body against the wall.
“Holding back is not good, my love. I need you to let all the emotions, the anger, the sadness, theragecome out. Hit me, fight me, yell at me all you want. Butdon’tshut me out.” Xavier’s face looked pained, and it hurt me that it was caused by my emotional outburst. I never wanted to hurt any of them.
“I could never hit you Xavier, I love you. I love you all so much… and often it feels like too much. I don’t know how much longer I can feel this much. Sometimes I think that my life would have been easier if your little raven wouldn’t have brought me here…”
The moment the words left my lips, regret washed over me. Xavier’s eyes became dark red. Shit, he was angry, and I couldn’t really blame him. Maybe it was the fear after being bonded to all of them, of experiencing so much love, that someone would just take it away from me and that’s why I felt the need to sabotage myself.
“I’m sorry…I—” Before I’d ended my apology, Xavier’s body pressed tightly against mine, opening up the robe and revealing my naked body to him. His fingers glided over my breasts down to pinch my clit. “I own you,my little demon. There will never be words to describe this kind of love and carnal desire you stir up inside me. You hate that you feel too much right now? Think about how it felt seeing you in pain, hearing your cries every single night. If you ever wish to leave this place, then you’re going to take us with you, otherwise you’ll be spanked so hard you won’t walk for a year.”
His strong hands pressed against the wall on either side of my face, forcing me to look right into his intense eyes. As soon as I nodded, Xavier’s lips captured mine in a hungry dance, his tongue seeking entry in my mouth, craving the burn just as much as me.
“Bite me,” I whispered between his kisses against my face. Inoticed how his face moved away from me, as his eyes searched mine, probably questioning my sanity.
“Please.” I didn’t know what was wrong with me right now or why I reacted so strongly to his touches, all I knew was that I needed him to mark me, claim me.
“Gods, I love it when you beg… and yet begging is sounnecessary. The ancient gods and goddesses blessed me with these lips to make sure I’d use them to taste every single sweet inch of your skin,” Xavier stated, before he began sucking my left breast. His teeth sank into the skin above my left breast, the blood running down to my heat. His tongue licked it off in soft motions.
He did the same with my other breast. The pain was immense and breathtaking at the same time—nothing compared to it. I felteverythingand it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed him.
“And my eyes and their sharp gaze exist only for the purpose of drinking in your beauty, to see how your body shivers under my touch, the alluring brown eyes widening when I make you come,” he continued, his fingers stroking my clit in circles causing a gasp to slip past my lips.
“And my ears—I only need them to listen to these exact moans caused by pleasure, or the way you whisper foolishly sweet things in your sleep.” Xavier pressed his thumb even harder against my clit, as his other hand kept trailing along my arms, his tongue darting out to taste my neck.
“Your blood is so precious baby… so sweet. I can’t get enough of you,” he stated, as he kept licking the blood trailing down my body. The gesture didn’t deter me how I’d expected because every part of me, including every drop of my blood, had always belonged to him.
Xavier’s lips brushed against the curve of my jaw, pressing soft kisses against my skin. My muscles loosened, and I became evenmore aroused. I stared back at him, as his red gaze captured mine. He wasstarvingfor me, just as I was starving for him.
And then Xavier unbuckled his belt, and I stared even more…
It didn’t matter how often we’d slept together… I’d always blush at the sight of his bare body. The way he shoved his pants and boxers down to his feet. He was such a sight to behold, and I was so lucky to call him mine.
“And my cock has its own purpose,” Xavier whispered against my face, as he lifted one of my legs around him, “to give you pleasure, satisfaction, to stretch every inch of your pussy and make itmy home.” As soon as the last words left his lips, his cock forced its way into me.
“My entire body is meant to satisfy you every need and desire, my love,” he continued, his voice rough. “I want to fill you with pleasure, over and over… You have no idea how hard it has been for me, knowing you were just one room away in Malakai’s bed,” he purred against my face.
“Do you know how much I yearn for you?” he asked, as he thrust even deeper into me, causing me to bite my lip as I suppressed another moan.
“My feelings are not near madness or limerence, these would be undermining the feelings I have for you. I yearn for you in ways no vampire has ever yearned before. You are such a poisonous, sweet little thing. You have branded yourself into my soul, into my brain to the point that every single one of my thoughts is possessed by you. Without younothingworks anymore,” he rasped, rolling his hips in perfect sync against mine. His face buried in my neck, as my arms looped around him, inhaling his intoxicating scent.
