I yearned to torture Leanan slowly and painfully. I wanted that bitch to suffer so much that she would beg me to kill her, although the pain she put us through could never be avenged. Since Gwendolyn learned of Malakai’s torture, she cried herself to sleep, wracked with guilt. I wanted her to yell at me, to use me for her pleasure, to hit me, or at least show me any kind of emotion, and if it was going to be anger, let it be carried out on me. As long as she didn’t put it on her.
Sometimes, when her nightmares were severe, I rocked her in my arms, suffocating her with kisses all over her precious face.
“Xavier,” she said.
I gazed at her while my fingers brushed through the strands of her soft hair.
“It’s fine, my love. I’m here. You aren’t alone,” I replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
One day, I’d pray we would get over it, and that one day we could spend bright, dewy mornings together watching the sunrise. Just like she had been my sunrise, no matter how dark the night was. She was the joy and laughter in the morning awaiting me.
I tried not to think the worst. As long as she was still here and allowed me to touch her, I had hoped that she wouldn’t close herself off completely. I wanted her to fight, to keep going, if not for her, then for us. She thought she was the guilty person in all of this, but she was the reason Malakai didn’t let Leanan kill him, that Damien kept going despite his family rejecting him, and that I built Carnivalland in awe of her.
Nevertheless, I could still sense her worrying about Malakai. She needed time—and holy shit, I needed patience.
“What are you thinking about,my little demon?” I asked her as she looked thoughtful while brushing her teeth.How could a woman brushing her teeth be that sexy?
“Nothing,” she replied before she rinsed her mouth with water.
I knew that it was surely not nothing, but it was not my goal to push any boundaries today, at least not emotionally.
I went to her and hugged her close to my chest, and I was so glad she let me.
Her head fell back, and she gazed into my eyes.
“I don’t feel good,” she confessed.
My fingers caressed her chin, and then I turned her around, capturing her lips. It was not a long or passionate kiss like I wanted, but it was the kiss she needed.
“What can I do, baby? Tell me, what do you need?” I asked, brushing my fingers over her back.
“Your eyes are turning red. Are you okay?”
“Yes.” A lie. But I didn’t want her to feel my anger. I shouldn’t forget that this was exactly what Leanan wanted to achieve.
“And what else do you need? Tell me, baby.”
“I want to cry.”
“Then cry. I’m here to catch every single tear, and if you cry an entire lake, I’m sure Damien could transform into his dragon form and save us.”
She smiled at that comment.
“I wanted to wash my hair; I think the last time I washed it was five days ago. Could you tell me how to warm the water in the shower?”
“Take off your clothes and sit down on the shower bench. I’ll wash your hair.”
“That is unnecessary… I…” she started explaining again why she didn’t need help, although she seemed truly exhausted.
Instead of responding or arguing withmy little demon, I helped take off her robe. The sight of her naked body caused reactions in me that made me feel ashamed. She was way too vulnerable right now, damned should be my cock.
I lifted her into my arms and set her on the shower bench, rolling up my sleeves and then setting the water temperature until I made sure it was warm enough for her. While I washed her hair, we didn’t talk, but I sensed how tense her body had become, so after I was done with her hair, I massaged her shoulders and her back.
I dried her with a towel, then lifted her back into my arms and sat her back on the bed, helping her dress in a white lace thong and a gauzy, transparent nightgown. I never would have thought that lace could look that sinful. I hope she didn’t find out why I picked these—knowing that in the evening light her skin shimmered silver under the transparent fabric and her rosy nipples enchanted me in unholy ways.
Gwendolyn was so damn beautiful, like a wildflower in a snowy winter, difficult to find and impossible to ignore. I knelt down and gazed up at her, her brown eyes exuding so much warmth and fire that they could burn me alive, and I would be happy forit.
“On your knees again, Xavier? I thought you liked dominating me.” She grinned. It was the first words she had said to me in the last half hour, and I enjoyed every single syllable coming out of her pretty mouth.
