“It’s as if he’s wrapped in light and shadow at once. I never see him, but I feel him almost like a guardian protecting me. I used to think it was my imagination, but… lately, it’s been louder. More real. I was scared of going mad…”
I didn’t speak right away. I just watched her. She gazed up to me, and her eyes were full of warmth and admiration, she looked like the rest of my eternity.I’d never offer her the love or devotion of a mortal man, but she’ll be getting the hunger that has been burning inside me for centuries, when my soul was forced to endure without her presence.
And then I followed the instincts of my soul and pressed mylips against hers.
It wasn’t a simple first kiss. This kiss was desperate. There had been so much heat building up inside me ever since she came here, ever since my soul and my mind had been wanting her. Yearning for her. Her lips were soft and sweet. As I pulled her closer, she responded with the same intensity, as if this waseverythingwe both needed. Everything we had held back in silence, in glances. She clung to me, her hands finding their way into my hair as I deepened the kiss. I fucking starved for so long without her taste on my tongue… and now that I’ve tasted her it awakened a hunger inside my bones to worship her body and destroy everything keeping me away from her.
A hauntingly beautiful moan escaped her lips, and I almost forgot how to breathe. I pressed my forehead gently against hers, our breath mingling. “You are not alone,” I whispered. “I’m going to take care of you.”
Gwendolyn didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. I pulled her onto my lap, settling back onto the crimson velvet bench beneath the window. I was just breathing her in, embracing every single inch of her skin in my arms.
Outside, the moon glided across the sky like it wanted to catch a glimpse of Gwendolyn, casting pale light over her copper hair. I wished this moment would last forever.
After a while, she drifted off to sleep in my lap. I stayed there for a while, holding the moment with the aim to keep it as sacred as possible. Then, when her breaths turned deep and slow, I stood and carried her back through the corridors.
The castle was quiet, my kind must have left through the Veil.
In our room, I placed Gwendolyn gently on the bed, pulling the sheets over her. I’d do anything to lay beside her and wrap myself in her sweet intoxicating scent. She would sleep cradled against me, like it was the only place she should be.
And when I finally pulled a mattress to the floor and laid down,watching how she curled into my sheets… I realized just as she was hearing the whispers of an angel, she turned my chaos into silence. She was my voice too.
The one I’d been wanting ever since I came here. The one I’d been building this place for. She wasn’t just the madness I have found my peace in. Gwendolyn was my home. And as I looked at her, I knew that if she was the Mad Hatter in my story…
I’d gladly get lost in her Wonderland.
Chapter 12
Night had already fallen by the time Marielle finished adjusting the last of the silver-threaded blossoms and pearls to the final strands of my hair. But my thoughts weren’t here in the present. They were still trapped in the quiet hush of the library, in the stolen moment where everything else had fallen away, leaving only his hands, his breath, and the press of his soft lips against mine.
The memory played in a loop behind my eyes, as if my mind could not stop indulging in it.
It had been unexpected, fierce, desperate, and so much more. Like he had been holding that kiss inside him for so long, and it finally broke free the moment I looked too long at his lips. Or maybe I had broken first. I didn’t know anymore. I only remembered how it felt to be kissed like I was something rare. Something sacred.
And the worst part?
The way Xavier had opened up to me in the library. Now it almost felt like he was avoiding me. Marielle had mentioned that, after we disappeared during the Vampire Dinner, Xavier still had matters to settle with his alliances—like formalities,politics, and other obligations. Despite my awareness of these things, there was a part of me that feared it wasn’t just his duties keeping him away from me. It was also…me.
Even now, as Marielle pinned the final strands of my hair into place, his scent still lingered around me.
It was so intense, and I yearned for more of him.
Tonight was no ordinary gathering. It was theMidsummer Masquerade Ball, a grand event, as Xavier had explained. Vampires, elves, goblins, and even sirens all got together to form new alliances. However, after hearing about my incident at the Siren Lake, Xavier had insisted on not inviting more than three of their kind in order to protect me. Banning them completely would potentially create more tension between the realms, especially since Sparrow’s mother is one of them.
“You are going to love the dress. I’m sure.”
As Marielle began opening the blue silk bag, hundreds of iridescent layers spilled out. The dress was probably the most ethereal piece of clothing I had ever seen, and I wondered who possessed the talent to make something as astonishing as this. With intricate saltwater pearls, shiny vintage jewels, and glass tones, it captured the theme of the ball to perfection. The bodice was made of ivory silk with golden-silver ornaments and an opalescent pink and green-shimmering organza over it. Its skirt was huge and consisted of several layers of silk and iridescent organza as well. Then the puffy balloon sleeves, probably the most enchanting part of the entire dress, with their many layers of lace and iridescent organza, looked straight out of an enchanted realm. A dress so delicate that even speaking about it wouldn’t be enough to show its true beauty.
As the soft perfume of lilac and rose clung to my skin and the corseted gown wrapped around me like a glove… I couldn’t stop thinking about the library Xavier showed me and how vulnerable he’d been when he’d opened up to me.
But where was he now?
“I’m pretty sure Xavier will be bowled over when he sees you,” Marielle stated as she was helping me in the gown. “The dress is perfect for you. He made a good choice with it,” she added, and let me adjust the finished look in the mirror.
“Did Xavier pick it out for me?”
Marielle did not reply; her eyes were glued to the windowsill, leading her to open the window and look out like she was awaiting someone.
“What is it?” I asked, uncertain, my eyes flicking between her and the delicate object in her hands.
