Still confused about what happened seconds ago, I sat myself down on a white bench and took several slow and deep breaths.
The mention of my father had caused a knot in my stomach. Whenever I woke up with vivid nightmares, I imagined how my father used to reassure me that everything would be okay, that I was safe, and every bad memory was only a dream. But he wasn’t there anymore, and my mother didn’t calm me like he had. Instead, she accused me of seeking attention and told me to stop making things difficult. My father had left us when I was just a little girl, and I could barely remember him now. And my mother also refused to talk about their time together, so the only memories left of him are the ones I invented myself.
The legacy he left behind was the little gold compass necklace that I wore daily. It was engraved with a rose and played music when it opened. Musical sounds that were so calming and soothing, a foreign melody that felt more familiar than anything else. I never knew exactly when I received it. I just remembered that one morning there was a little box on my night table with a note saying, ‘For my little fairy.’
My father was the only one who ever called me that. He supported my interest in other lands and magical tales. Little did I know that it was going to be the first and last gift from him. Months later, he vanished.
After a while, the raven with the red feather flew down next to me. It looked directly into my eyes and lowered its head as a kind of agreement. Although I did not remember birds behaving so boldly around humans, this one showed no fear. “You seem to bequite an odd raven, right?”
Was I really talking to birds right now?
The raven’s stare was strong as it cawed, like it disagreed with me.
Before I could decide if I was really about to begin a conversation with a raven, Alexander came up to me with a smile. A smile most people would fall in love with. He was dressed in a creamy beige suit, bringing out his blonde curls and brown eyes.
“There you are, I was looking for you. You look exquisite today, I hope you know this,” he said as he pressed a kiss on my hand.Exquisite, the same word Mira used earlier. It couldn’t be a coincidence, since with the Wrights, everything was planned out. Every word, every gesture.
Alexander acted like he was really keen on the agreement of our marriage, but when we met for the first time, we barely talked to each other. It was more like a set-up between our parents than a real date. He never asked me about my dreams or about my interests, instead he only talked about himself and the huge mansion that he will inherit one day.
“Gwendolyn, if we get married, please don’t expect that we see each other very often. Taking on the role of my father’s position in the company will demand a lot of time,” he declared on our first date, as a warning never to expect anything romantic between us.
While I knew love could develop over time, I also strongly believed love required empathy and compassion, qualities the man in front of me clearly lacked. The first time we went for a walk, we saw some poor children asking for food. Alexander did not even raise an eyebrow; he ignored these children like they were invisible. When I wanted to buy them some juice and bread, he became angry and told me to never question any of his decisions again.
“Come, let us dance,” he stated, his voice smooth with purpose. “They need us to see in love.” With those words, he offered his hand. A silent promise, no matter who watched us, he was determined to put on a show in front of the guests.
He led me up to the stone terrace, which was big enough to fit several hundred people. Some couples were already dancing, staring at us when we both arrived in the middle. Although I never took dancing lessons, my body seemed to know every step and every movement, like I must have danced in my former life.
The sky was cloudy, as if even the sun couldn’t be happy today. I let my eyes gaze upwards, noticing a black bird flying across the horizon. If I had wings myself, how easy it would be to just fly away. Somewhere else where I could be free, where people speak the same language as me, so that I wouldn’t have to spend my entire life translating my soul. The idea of a place like this made me smile and want to cry at the same time, knowing a place like this didn’t exist. At least not for me.
“Do I amuse you, Gwendolyn?” Alexander asked so suddenly it made me uncomfortable. But I didn’t want to start a fight with him.
“No, I was just imagining how great it could be to fly like a bird, don’t you think?”
As soon as the words slipped past my lips, I already regretted telling him such a thing.
“If you don’t have something intelligent to say, it would be best to shut your pretty little mouth.” The outrageous bluntness of his words proved to me how little he cared about his manners when it didn’t affect his reputation.
After the music had ended, he excused himself to join his family on the podium where Bradley Wright was holding his welcome speech. He publicly announced that Alexander will be the next heir to their family business since Bradley planned to take a long-overdue vacation. Alexander walked to the middle of thepodium to accept his new position and thanked the guests for coming. He offered me his hand to indicate that now was the time to come up to join him. My feet refused to do so, but then I felt my mother pushing me up the stairs. “Behave, he’s the best-looking man in town and now also the richest. Better than ending up with a man like your Aunt Elma did. Alexander can provide for you.”
My uncle August had been a wife-beating tyrant who spent all of his money on vodka instead of food for his family. My aunt suffered a lot because of him and still has the worst nightmares. Because of this experience, marriage, and children had been secondary in my life’s plan.
Alexander knelt down, and I already heard the astonishment of the crowd. “Gwendolyn Dawn Revelir. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
I looked around, noticing the reactions of the people surrounding us. They were just as eagerly awaiting an answer as I was to be saved by a little white rabbit.
All of a sudden, I heard a soft purr behind me. Turning around, I spotted the raven with the red feather sitting on one of the branches of a nearby tree. It used its beak several times to point toward the north side of the garden. It almost seemed like it wanted to communicate with me.
But why would a raven want to communicate with me?
Alexander cleared his throat, pulling my gaze away from the raven to focus back on him. Right, he was still waiting for a reply.
“Hmmm…” I stuttered, more to myself than to him. My gaze wandered around the people on the terrace. Their eyes were filled with curiosity. Then I spotted Phoebe and Constance in the crowd with hateful expressions in their eyes, telling me that there will come a time when they will take their revenge. I knew that everyone around me expected us to get married and the proposal was simply part of the tradition.So, why was Irefusing now?
How could I know what it was that my heart really wanted?
Alexander coughed again, leading me to turn around. He was impatiently tugging at the watch on his wrist… I had barely any time left. If my answer were too late, people would realize my doubts.
Out of nowhere, I heard the voice of a man in my head.
