“What things?”
“Sometimes I want to punish you.”
The confession shattered something inside me… not from fear, but from overwhelming need.
“What kind of punishment?” I dared to ask, my voice barely audible, curiosity pooling in my belly like heat.
He grinned at my question, his fingers delving into the strands of my hair. I became curious.
“Punishment I won’t ever try with you,” he stated.
“Why?”
“Do I hear disappointment?” Malakai gave me a cocky smile and gripped my hips in his hands.
“Are you afraid of punishing me?” It wasn’t like Damien and Xavier never tried.
“I’m not afraid of punishing you, Gwendolyn. I’m afraid of causing harm. I don’t want to hurt you, to push you too far and make you see things that should be hidden deep inside me. Mybiggest aim is to protect you, and sometimes that means setting boundaries.”
I understood his fear of losing control. Malakai was always so reserved and distant about showing affection and now he was talking about doing stuff with me he was too ashamed to admit.
I kissed his soft lips and embraced him in my arms, my fingers stroking his wings.
“Mmm, that feels nice,” he whispered, his voice low and husky. “You have such soft skin, you’re soft everywhere.”
Malakai pulled me even closer, his arms wrapping around me in a protective embrace like he didn’t want us to be a single inch apart from each other. I nuzzled my face into his beautiful white hair, inhaling him and his sweet scent as if I needed to memorize every inch, every smell of him. “I could stay like this forever,” he murmured, his voice filled with contentment as his naked body held mine.
His fingers stroked down my hips until his fingers dug into my flesh, almost possessively trying to mark my skin with his touch. My hands reached out to graze over his arms. Malakai’s muscles tensed slightly at my touch. I wanted to ask him if his reactions to me were heightened due to what happened to him or if it was solely based on him being an angel. As I stroked the soft skin of his arms with my fingers, he seemed to relax again.
“Sometimes I have these demons inside me, Gwendolyn. They want me to destroy us, everything we have. I’ve hurt you; I’ve made mistakes by putting distance between us, but I can’t help it. I’m scared of hurting you,” he suddenly confessed. He took a deep breath, steeling himself before he continued pressing kisses against my hair.
“I’m not afraid of you, and never will be. As long as I see you as good, it will be enough for both of us, Malakai. You don’t need to prove your love to me,” I whispered in his ear. A sigh escaped his lips, almost like he was relieved.
“I love you so much, Gwendolyn, I’ll never get tired of saying it. You are mine.” I knew in that moment I was truly his and he was truly mine, and not a single person could destroy what we had.
“I don’t deserve you,” I muttered against his thigh as I was laying across his lap.
Malakai leaned in closer, his lips brushing against my ear. “If anyone is undeserving, Gwendolyn. It’s me. But never you. You have no idea how badly I wanted to hold you in the human realm. When I was trapped in darkness, all I thought about was how your skin would feel against mine. I’ve been wanting to fuck you since the first time I laid my eyes on you in the living room—fuck this body until I ruin it because I’m too broken to not destroy you. It was the hardest task in my life to put this distance between you and me. You’ve been driving me so insane. The way you feel, you love me and I love you, it is the most beautiful, breaking feeling.”
I smiled, my heart shattering at seeing Malakai’s tears. And I knew they weren’t just tears, but signs of grief, hope, and memories as well.
A single drop hit my skin, making me gaze upward at the sky.
Rain.
For the first time since I’ve been here in Carnivalland, it was raining. Almost like heaven itself couldn’t bear my angel’s sorrow and the sky broke open.
Chapter 38
As I felt the drops of water splashing onto my skin, it was like something had changed. Not just in me, but in all of us.
Suddenly, I perceived a lingering scent of fresh musk, citrus and a slight hint of peppermint in the air, reminding me of Damien’s scent. My eyes fell toward Malakai, his beautiful eyes gazing at me with so much admiration and love I’d never believed I could ask for. He took my face in his hands, his fingers brushing against my cheek, grounding me at this very moment. causing me to focus on him. “Do you know what this means?” he asked softly, brushing through the strands of my hair, as if he was memorizing every single inch of me.
Before I could answer, a click of boots made me turn my head. By the sound of it, I knew it was Damien stepping into the garden. The droplets of rain clung to his lashes; his white hair wet. He was so beautiful; he was always beautiful. But whenever he came into contact with water, whether in the Ancient Springs, in the shower, or now in the rain, he radiated something so deep and unreachable for everyone else around him. The water seemed to speak only to him… in the form of praise and worship, as if every droplet was drawn to Damien the same way as I wasdrawn to him.
“Damien?” I asked, unsure if I was breathing at this very moment, almost too overwhelmed by emotions.
How could simple rain affect me so much?
