“With that said, we never know what’s going to happen,” Doc told me. “We can’t predict the future, and I don’t want you to stop living your life. If you and James can be mindful of your recovery…” He shrugged slightly. “This is a situation in which only you can determine what works. If it feels right and you’ve thought things through properly—who knows, maybe this will work out perfectly.”
Nuance was so damn overrated sometimes. Just give me a yes or no.
“One more thing, though,” he said. “If you’re looking for outside answers to this, there’s a possibility you don’t trust yourself at the moment, due to what you’ve lived through. Or perhaps there’s a voice in your head telling you to slow down—in which case you might want to listen.”
Well, shit.
I bit at my thumbnail and tapped my foot against the floor.
That same evening, though, things became clearer as soon as James’s face appeared across my laptop screen. Just seeing him felt like everything fell into place. I wanted to be near him. I wanted to share my days and nights with him. God, I missed him.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“Hi, honey.” I smiled and adjusted the laptop on the coffee table. “Did you just get out of the shower?”
“About twenty minutes ago.” He yawned and folded an arm under his head. He was lying in bed, his hair looked a little damp, and he was holding his phone so I could only see from his chest up. “I did some errands, bought a snack for my hellcat, killed time at the gym, and almost fell asleep on the most uncomfortable couch a hotel’s ever seen.”
I grinned and took a sip of my wine.
“I have wineglasses?” he asked.
“You do now.” I chuckled to myself and set down the glass again. I’d lit my scented candle—fresh linen all the way—I’d poured a glass of white, and I was almost done sorting the border pieces of my new puzzle. “I need a glass or two after my session with Doc today.”
He lifted his brows. “Oh boy. Want me to beat him up? What happened?”
I shook my head in amusement. “He’s wonderful. But he wouldn’t tell me if my moving in here is the right choice or not.”
“Ah.” His amusement turned wry. “Yeah, he has a way of letting you do all the work yourself. I don’t know why he’s getting paid.”
He made me laugh every time we talked like this.
He spoke again. “It was just an offer, baby. I know rents are fucked around there, and I was imagining you trying to make a life for yourself with a stranger you might not have chemistry with. Maybe the apartment’s great, but the roommate’s garbage. Maybe it’s the other way around. I don’t know.”
See, that was an excellent point. The more I thought about it, the more I recognized that I wasn’t dealing with a bunch of high anxiety or distress, so much as I was just…tired. I wanted my world a little smaller. I wanted to take my baby steps in peace—but bills waited for no one.
“And I appreciate that offer so much,” I replied. “I want?—”
“For the record, I can see the way your arms are moving,” he told me. “Are you working on a new puzzle?”
I smirked, grabbed the laptop, and angled it to show the table. I’d bought the puzzle today.
“Is that a specific rain forest or just a random illustration?”
“The Amazon,” I answered. “I guess I was inspired by my South American focus lately.”
“Fuckin’ A. I wanna build that when I get home.” He paused. “Wait a damn minute. Is that a candle?”
Oh God. I cracked up and returned the laptop so he could see me properly.
“It sure is! It’s scented too.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he grumbled. But I was onto him. He was grumbling for the sake of it. Some men just wanted to complain a little. But actually, James had another goal in mind too. “It’s happening. My home is turning into a spa salon.”
I laughed even harder at that. Mission accomplished for him. I saw it in his cocky little grin. He’d set out to make me smile, make me laugh, brighten my mood, and he always succeeded.
This was what I wanted. I wanted to be right here, even when he wasn’t, and I wanted to run into his arms when he rotated back home.
“When you come home, I’ll teach you how to exfoliate and put on face masks,” I promised.
