I nodded, and led him outside to the backyard, in the pool area. I sat on the edge of the pool, dangling my feet into the water. Maverick sat on the chairs behind me, and I think that action alone made me understand this wasn’t going to be a conversation I wanted to have.
Mari told me he would want me back, but I could feel the tension radiating off him. Closing my eyes to battle against the dangerous emotions teetering on the edge, I waited for him to speak.
“Thank you for telling Lani to come and see me.”
His voice was dark and dangerous, deeper than it ought to be.
“She needs her dad.”
“Agreed.”
My heart was breaking in two before we could even get to the stuff I wanted to talk about. I should have answered those texts, I should have told him how much I missed him, his touch, the way he would kiss me and make the world disappear, how safe I felt with him.
“Stuff has come up with the club, and the Ironborne, but my initial fear for my family remains. I also need to get you out of here before Mari’s husband comes home. He’s not too fond of me, or the club.”
I was well aware. The conversations I’d had with Mari about it had been a toll on her. I could tell.
“Fine,” I said, pulling my feet up and heading out of the pool area. I was out of the gate before he could grab me. He called out to me, but I could already feel the tears burning my eyes, threatening to unleash.
Moving to the bedroom, I started to pack my bag. I didn’t own much, but Mari had been gifting me clothes that she no longer wore. I suspected they were clothes she still wore, but she felt bad for me. Either way, I hoped we could remain friends after this.
The door to the bedroom closed behind him, his heavy boots on the timber floorboards were loud. I could feel my pulse spike with every move he made toward me. His hands slid over my hips, gripping tight, before he spun me to look at him. When I looked up through teary eyes, I saw his own watery ones looking back at me.
How could he do this if he was hurting too?
“Tavi,” his voice was cracked with his emotion, which only set more tears tumbling over my cheeks. “I don’t want this to be hard. We both knew this would have an expiration date.”
“So let me go,” I said, pushing him away from me. I didn’t want his soft touch when I wanted to be angry at him. “I’ll find my own place, away from here, away from you and your family. I’ll be gone, and you’ll never have to see me again.”
“Let me help you,” he replied. “I promised to keep you safe, and I will. I’ve got a place for you. It won’t be linked to me, my family, the club or you. It’s safe. I promise.”
“And then?”
“Then what?”
“I’ll always be indebted to you. I don’t think so. You’ll never be crawling back between my thighs for payment of all that you did for us.”
Maverick recoiled, as if I’d slapped him. “You think I would do that to you?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “That's all I’ve known.”
“Fuck that cunt,” he ground out. “I’m not him. I would never do that to you. I care about you, Tavi, more than I should, even after everything. I want to be with you, but I just…can’t.”
More tears ran down my cheeks, my sobs were becoming harder and harder to contain as I felt my entire body shake with what I could only assume was an anxiety attack.
He was my safe place.
He was meant to be the one who came home from work to me and Van, the one to give me my dream. Maverick was killing everything inside of me.
“Take me there then. I can’t promise I’ll stay.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll get Van into the car while you pack.”
He left the room without a second glance at me, and I felt my knees go weak, hitting the floorboards as I clutched onto the bed for support as I silently cried into it, feeling every good feeling tear away from me in the most dramatic way.
I had no one left.
Nothing to go to.
