"It's not romantic, it's..."
"Sav..." Luke sets his coffee down and puts his arm around me and I lean into his shoulder and breathe. "Just listen to him tomorrow. Have an open mind. You don't have to decide anything. Just listen."
"I don't know how I'm going to sit that close to him."
"Yeah, I know." He squeezes my shoulder. "But you're going to do it anyway, because not knowing is eating you up. I can see it."
I close my eyes. "I did love him so much, Luke."
"I know, sweetheart. I know." He pulls me a little closer. "It's your choice what happens next. Not his. Remember that."
"I'll remember."
"Good." He reaches for his coffee. "Now tell me everything about the shooting because I ain’t leaving this town tomorrow without that information."
I laugh despite myself. "Sleep on the couch, Luke."
"Already decided," he says.
AUSTIN
She finally agreed to ten in the morning and it's the best and worst thing that's happened today.
I get on the bike and ride. I don't think about the man with his hand in hers. I don't think about the way she leaned into my chest without meaning to. I don't think about the ten yearsbetween us that I put there and what it's going to take to cross them. I ride. That's all.
I pass her street and I see the light still on upstairs in the apartment. She's still awake. I don't stop. I keep riding.
When I get back to the compound, Brick is already there. I don't know how he got back before me. I don't ask. He's sitting at the bar in the empty clubhouse with two beers and he puts one in front of me when I sit down.
We sit in silence for a while. That's something Brick and I have always been able to do. He’s always been a part of my life. He was the one who put me on a bike before I was old enough to be on one. He was the one who sat across from Prez in my patch vote. There's a particular kind of silence that only exists between people who've been through things together, and this is that silence.
He drinks his beer.
I drink mine.
"You're going to get her back, aren't you," Brick says. Not a question.
"I'm going to try."
He nods slowly, looking at the bar top. "You've been holding on to that for ten years. I always wondered if you'd do something about it when you got the chance or let it go again."
"I let it go the first time because I thought I had to."
"And now?"
"And now she's here and EJ thinks I should say sorry." I pick at the label on my beer. "Nine years old and he's already got better instincts than me."
Brick makes a sound that’s probably as close as he gets to a laugh when it's just the two of us. "Stop sitting here then. Go to your house and figure out what you're going to say tomorrow. You've got," he checks his watch. "About nine hours."
"I don't know how to explain why I did it without it sounding like excuses."
"Then don't explain. Just tell her the truth and let her decide what it means." He takes a long drink. "She came back to this town for a reason, Sprog. People don't come back to places unless they're looking for something they left there."
I sit with that for a second.
"Go," Brick says.
I go.
