Nora picked up one of the rocks from the pile. “It’s really simple, but I understand. That’s why I wanted to live in the desert, besides the obvious. I wanted it quiet enough here to learn about myself too. Be by myself.”
He rubbed down her arm. “It was brave of you to come out here.”
She let out a huff and the rock dropped. “At first I felt so restless, like I couldn’t sit still. Almost went back to town, but I wanted different for Tilly so . . . but then after a while, I changed to where this feels right.”
“Yes. It feels . . . real.”
Nora snuggled into his chest further. “Yes. Real.”
He held her while Tilly scootered, not pressing her. Sometimes, trying to define everything with words wasn’t possible. He gazed down at Nora’s wispy hair.And sometimes things don’t need defining.
Chapter thirty-seven
Nora
Once Tilly was asleep, Nora’s emotions heightened again. Simon kept his interest alive the entirety of the day, touching her more than he had ever before. It both scared and excited her. She had sex so many times before, but that was . . .
She side-eyed Simon as he brought her a glass of water and sat next to her, listening to the evening radio programs on the understuffed sofa. They both sank further down with his added weight.It didn’t feel like this does now. There was a fluttering in her stomach. A yearning as she met his eyes, next to her. She never thought she might actually want to have sex again. Did she?Yes.A large part of it was how she felt with him. With Simon.
Her mind turned practical as she got up and adjusted the radio, turning to another evening show.How does . . . that even work for an android?She knew from repairing Simon that he had the proper anatomy, even if she hadn’t spent much time in that area inspecting further. He was just an impersonal machine to her then. Nora glanced at Simon again.Funny how fast that changed.
Simon didn’t seem to share her hesitancy. Maybe it was a product of not being truly human, but he was more decisive and forward than she was. Simon had made what he wanted clear earlier today and throughout the day with his lingering touches and possessive eyes. He was committed. This was a blessing, as Nora’s mind never seemed to turn off, and she second-guessed everything as a default.
Nora sat with the radio and idly turned the knobs, knowing they were both waiting until Tilly was in a deep sleep so they wouldn't be disturbed.
Simon didn’t waste words as he put the now-empty water cup on the table next to the sofa and came back again to sit next to her.Actually,he never seems to waste words.
He reached for her then, in the night, the soft sounds of a music channel from the radio coming in, fuzzy in the background due to static. Simon was insistent in his movements, pulling her close until she was practically on his lap, wrapped in his arms. The calmness and precision of his hands felt just as reassuring as she imagined. “Nora, do you want me to just hold you? You tell me.”
“Is that what you want?” The space between them felt charged. Electric.
His lips twitched. “Hmm. Yes and no. I want more with you, but only if you’re ready. I’ll hold you until you are.”
Her voice wavered. “And if that’s all I ever want?”
His lips pressed against the top of her head. “Then we are lucky my arms never get tired.”
Oh.Her heart fluttered at that as she settled in his arms. He held her then, his simulated heartbeat steady under her cheek, while Nora’s went wild in her chest.
They listened to the radio like that, softly playing music as Simon tapped out the beats on her arm. “This is a familiar song,” he whispered.
“The radio plays it a lot.”
“Hmm . . .” He kissed the top of her head.
They sat there listening as the radio changed through several songs.I want more too.Nora took a deep breath and spoke, voice shaking. “Simon? I want more but . . . just. Slow. I want this to be . . . different than before.”
Simon murmured into her hair. “There is no before, Nora. This is different. I’m not human like any who hurt you. I promise I will never hurt you. You can lead me.” He lowered his head to her neck, gently kissing. “You are beautiful, Nora. In every way.”
Lead him.Nora sighed. That actually worked. Her body relaxed at his words. Her heartbeat still pounded, but it was enough that she was able to lean into him and feel secure wrapped in his arms.
Simon stopped kissing her hair and pulled back to look her in the eyes, his usual cool logic replaced with something that made her burn from within. “We will make new memories of this . . . to replace the others. New memories of how it should be. New memories how to love. I need this as well, different memories.”
“Yeah . . . you’re right. I want that.” Nora leaned back in his arms.I’m ready. She felt a tightening in her stomach and was overly hot all over. She didn’t see Simon as different from her. Not anymore. He was alive, only the casing was different.I don’t want to be alone anymore.And she wasn’t. He pulled her close and she settled her head on his chest again, listening to his heartbeat.
She could forget it was a simulation.
Simon didn’t talk but angled her head up to his to claim her lips and moved her so she straddled his lap. After kissing her for a long moment, he ran his hands over her back as he embraced her against his chest, then reached over and turned off the radio before picking her up under her legs, carrying her around his waist to the bedroom. He turned around and locked the door, then settled them on the bed. “Tilly is breathing in a deep sleep now. We won’t be disturbed.”
