“Uh-huh,” I stammer, taking a big gulp of air and moving the window screen back down. A sense of relief washes over me.
For the rest of the flight, I can’t escape the fact I am sitting right next to him. Because sitting next to him means I’m hyperaware of every movement, every breath, even the sips of his drink and smelling the Tito’s on his breath. His hold on me is spellbinding.
He isn’t acting out a scene nor is he helping me implode my life. He is just existing and that is enough.
Holden is almost finished with his drink before he leans in to say, “No obligation here. I totally understand if you don’t want to do this anymore when we land.”
It comes out of nowhere, cutting our silence in half.
“Considering your boyfriend and all…” he finishes, and my chest punctures at the mention of Aidan. It dawns on me now that we haven’t spoken in over twenty-four hours.
I refuse to think about it. So, I scramble.
“What’s your spirit animal? I would say mine is a cat.”
I hear Skye’s voice chime in with, “Chicken.” A word only I can hear.
“My what?” Holden asks, taking another sip of his drink.
“Your spirit animal.”
A smile stretches over my face as I scroll on the screen in front of me, perusing the selections of shows and movies available to me. Every genre is on display.
Selecting the “Drama” category, at the top of the list I seeAll or Nothing’s first season.
“I’ve never given it much thought, but if I had to pick one, I would say a lion.”
His attention is now toward my screen, daring to play this next to him.
“Of course, you would say that,” I say as I click play, smiling back at him.
Skye whispers without warning of her presence. “I think mine is a ghost.” Her tone is sardonic as it looms over me. My face remains still, trying to not show that I am hearing voices.
He just looks over, wiping a thumb across his lips and revealing a slight smile before saying, “I knew you were a stalker,” as the first scene of the show plays.
“What?” I snap back.
“The show.” He points as his series starts to play on the screen.
Our conversation spirals around zodiacs, spirit animals, psychics and mediums, eventually trickling down to the subject of ghosts. A subject I am very familiar with.
Six hours later and half a season done, we land on the tarmac. Switching off airplane mode, I see the text notification:Holden Strauss has secured an audition with Lakeland Studios.
The text that should unequivocally make any strategist happy.
Instead, all I can seem to focus on is the back of our driver’s head. Blonde, buzz cut and a different variation of Aidan. Even the driver’s face is morphing into him as he turns around to us to say, “How was your flight?”
I answer too quickly with, “Good”. A wave of guilt hits me as the last interaction I have in my mind with Aidan is a pained expression left on his face as I lean into Holden’s lips.
My gaze snaps from the driver’s attention where our eyes have met for a millisecond to the window showing the curb we are parked alongside of.
Suddenly, my stomach feels sour.
Chapter twenty-five
Phoning a Friend
It’s been two hours since I landed and my clothes are still scattered across the apartment. I haven’t cleaned a single thing. Instead, I’m finishing season one ofAll or Nothing, pretending I don’t have ten days to drum up media interest for Holden.
