I bite my fingers, trying to process in real time how this is all going to work for us. What would fake-dating Holden Strausslook like? I must be down to nubs when he rips my hand from my mouth as I shift in my seat.
“It’s going to be okay.” Holden rests his hand on my thigh, and I am not sure if I should remove it this time.
“It’s weird seeing you as an optimist.”
“I had coffee, it’s a new morning. Anything can happen.”
“I am going to book us some tickets to leave tomorrow. Just take some deep breaths.”
I try my hardest to nod as the breathing starts off slow and increases swiftly. The pendant is activating again, sparking a blue glow as if my confession triggered the necklace to come alive.
“Let me put on a movie,” he says.
The male character in this action movie has Aidan’s eyes.
I’m staring lifeless at the screen, being transported to four years ago in my mind. Going down memory lane of when I was introduced to all the Whitmores.
All I can remember is being a silent observer. Holding Aidan’s hand underneath the dinner table for the majority of the night. When I did chime in, it would be to tag along to a point Aidan made. Every time I would, one look from him would cause fluttering butterflies to enter my stomach.
“I don’t get why entrance exams are even allowed for students who can’t afford the tuition,” His brother, Jonathan says.
“People’s inability to pay their student loans isn’tmyproblem. They should have gotten a degree in something that actually matters, instead of wasting their time at whateverliberalarts school,” Mr. Whitmore adds.
“I don’t know, maybe it was their passion…” Aidan offers.
Mr. Whitmore knocks his head back, talking with his mouth full. “Yeah, and passion is what gets people into debt for fifty years.”
For the rest of the dinner, Aidan was a client. Conversations amalgamating from college tuition, healthcare policies at the latest election, and the laziness of our generation… all covered during a three-course dinner.
My lips were sealed during all of it. By the end of it, when everyone was ready for a nightcap, I went to my room. Slipping into my new silky red pajamas, slicking my hair back in a bun, and freshly moisturizing my face.
I was ready for Aidan to come in at any moment. We were at the six-month mark, and meeting the parents at this stage was huge.
Waiting for him to come back felt endless and tiring. Occupying myself in their guest room led to my obsession to find the floss picks I packed. A vital part of my nightly routine.
You are going to get gum disease if you don’t brush and floss every day.A common saying preached by my dad, who let everyone know he was a dentist anddon’t you forget it.
With no luck searching the room and my bags, I tiptoed through the Whitmores’ house to try to find Ruth, the maid, or another bathroom that might have it. Their house had several long corridors. Along the way, I made a wrong left turn, stopping when I overheard Jonathan, Aidan’s older brother, talking.
“You gave me time to figure out my life.”
“He has been out of college for a year. Plus, you knew you wanted to be a lawyer. Aidan doesn’t have a clue…”
“I think Charlotte can get his head on straight. She knows what it’s like to work hard for something…”
“Charlotte doesn’t understand what it takes to be successful. She just took a job getting coffee for people. I hardly call that an example for Aidan. He is irresponsible. He doesn’t know his head from his ass.” His dad reinforces.
Hearing our names in their mouths felt repulsive at the time. Aidan was only twenty-three, and they expected the world from him. They just kept talking. I just kept listening like a masochist.
The tears fell as soon I went back to the room, praying Aidan didn’t hear what I just heard. That night and many nights after that, was just composed of several gatherings where Aidan begged to look different in their eyes.
My chest deflates.
“Where did you just go?” Holden interjects. I’m sucked out of my thoughts as the car crash scene is starting to play on the TV.
“I don’t know who I am without this job.”
A small chuckle stumbles out of me. Without asking, I don’t hesitate to slip into his open arms.
