“Go on.” I take my drink back and follow him toward the fire. The first sip overwhelms me. I’ve been drinking hot chocolate all my life, but right now, just the smell of it reminds me of Callie on my couch the first night we met.
“You might be thinking about the Callie thing all wrong.” Noah gestures toward the hay bales in front of the fire. I follow him and sit on the makeshift seating.
“It’s over between us. There’s nothing to think about.”
“I think you’re underestimating her.” Noah sips his drink. “She knows the truth and isn’t afraid of you. Isn’t afraid ofus. Do you realize how crazy that is?”
I stare into the fire, the heat warming the front of my body. Thoughts of Sia, my twin, flow in. A few years after she realized what we’d done and fled, she came back to Maine. I think she had it in her head that she would reconcile with her brothers. But when she found out that we were still killing, she got this horrified look on her face. She cut us out of her life again. Permanently, she said. The way she looked at us was heartbreaking, like she could forgive us killing our family’s killer, but after that there was no leeway. Even when we explained what we were doing, who we were protecting, all of that.
It didn’t change anything. She was terrified, and she fled. I track her occasionally, but even though I can figure out where she is, she’s gone from our lives.
“Thatiscrazy. But the last time I talked to her—” I shut my eyes at the final conversation where she implied Noah and I were the scary people in New York City. “I don’t think she gets it. I think she’s scared of us.”
“Tell me, have either of us had any luck dating? Ever?” Noah stares at the side of my face.
“No.” I shake my head. To say Noah keeps women at arm’s length would be a massive understatement. “Last time I tried, I got accused of stalking.”
“How dare she,” Noah deadpans.
“Exactly. I was just—” I narrow my eyes at Noah. It was a trap.
“But Callie is different. So different. Wes, she saw us take care of business in Boston.”
“I know.” I duck my head and bury my hand in my hair. “It took her a minute to understand.”
Because she did seem to understand at the time. And it didn’t take her long.
“She barely batted an eye, which is pretty fucked up, don’t you think?”
“But at the end…” I say, then see what he’s getting at. “On Friday she acted differently. About what we do.”
“And why do you think she acted different?”
I let silence sit between us for a moment, really thinking about his question.
“So she could break it off with me?”
“Yes. She probably wanted you to think she isn’t the right person for you. Otherwise, you’d never let her go.”
“She wants to go.” It comes out as almost a question.
“I’d be willing to bet she’s just as obsessed with you as you are with her.”
I snort, then stare into the fire. Could Noah be right? Did Callie say those things to force me to let her leave?I can’t be with someone like you.
“I love her,” I say. I look at Noah. His shoulders lift and fall as he absorbs the words. Then he nods.
“I thought so.”
“But it’s because I love her that I need to let her go.” The flames of the fire hypnotize me. “Callie wants to start over and live a different life. She was miserable being her father’s daughter, and she was miserable being married to a criminal. And like it or not, I am a criminal,” I whisper the last word.
“Can I tell you what I think, Wes?”
A sliver of hope cuts through the darkness of my heart.Fuck, I want Noah to convince me there’s a chance. I want that more than anything.
“You’re going to anyway.” I attempt to sound gruff.
“I think Callie had a rough childhood and a terrible marriage,” Noah says carefully. “None of the men in her life look out for her. Not like they should.”
