“I want to sing ‘Memory.’” Britney already had her music ready.
“Okay, Britney’s first. Then I’ll play ‘Climb Every Mountain’ because that’s always been my favorite thing to hear Aurora sing.” Dave gave her a silly grin.
“Thanks for letting me pick, Dave,” Aurora teased him. “Just kidding. That’s fine.”
“I’m going to sing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow.’” Jen flipped through the sheet music.
“I want to do a duet with Aurora,” Mike said. “We never got to do that in high school.”
“Okay by me.” Aurora smiled, starting to relax. “Just let me know what song.”
Britney handed Dave the book, and he started to play. Aurora let herself get lost in Britney’s song. Memories of her past drifted through her mind’s eye. She saw Jeff and herself at their wedding, and Katie being born. When the tune grew dark, she recalled her heart breaking when his cancer returned, and his memorial service. But when the lyrics talked about touching and leaving, she saw Duncan holding her, dancing with her; then his face as she left him at the airport. She’d thought she was ready for a new life. But she’d messed this up, too. They all clapped as Britney finished the haunting song. Then it was Aurora’s turn.
“Climb every mountain”… Mother Superior’s song. It had always been her favorite fromThe Sound of Music. Now it haunted her, the old nun telling her to go after the dream that would need all the love she could give for as long as she lived. The only mountains she needed to climb were in her own heart. Singing about rainbows reminded her of a rainbow they’d seen over the Golden Gate bridge on one of their excursions. It was as if the universe had lit a neon sign to what she wanted. As her voice cleared the high note at the end, Dave shivered. The rest of her friends clapped.
“That always gives me goosebumps! It’s been too long, Roar.”
Jen cleared her throat. “You’re supposed to call her ‘Aurora’, Dave.”
“It’s fine, Jen, it’s just us.” Aurora appreciated Jen defending her name choices. But since it was just them, she didn’t care. She almost missed it. Duncan still called her that. She’d never bothered to correct him.
“Aurora, are you up for this one?” She peeked over Mike’s shoulder and nodded her assent as Jen began to sing.
“Somewhere over the rainbow …” Jen began.
Aurora’s mind started to dream of a life with Duncan. Man, she had screwed up so badly with him. Katie missed talking to him, too. Aurora knew in the way Katie kept asking about him. Katie hadn’t had a strong male figure in her life for five years, and it wasn’t right of Aurora to deny her that just because she got cold feet.
Besides, she…she loved him.
Even if it was a betrayal of Jeff, she couldn’t help how she felt. She could no longer deny it, even to herself. Her heart twisted as she recalled the confused, pained look on his face when she’d last seen him. And then she’d gone and pulled a Mariah.
Aurora closed her eyes, wishing she had a time machine to go back and slap herself. How could she have done that to him when he’d been so sweet? She would call him. Tonight, when she got home. She’d beg forgiveness and see if he still wanted her. If the bluebirds in the song could be happy, why couldn’t she be happy, too? They all clapped for Jen as the song ended.
“Mike, you’re up.”
“With Aurora.” Mike gave her a sly smile as he handed over the music and stepped just behind her.
Dave started to play, and a rich melodic tenor voice filled the air. It said to speak no more of darkness and forget her fears.
But wait,that wasn’t Mike.
It had been a while, sure, but Aurora had sung with Mike for seven years, and sheknewhis voice, just like she knew the voice of everyone else in the room. Her head snapped to the side, where she found him grinning. Then who was offering her protection, warmth, and calm? And oh God, did it sound good. She looked at Dave, but her pianist wasn’t the one singing either.
Who would ask to be her freedom? Aurora’s breaths came fast and shallow as she recognized the voice singing.
Duncan? It couldn’t be.
She blinked back tears as he offered to dry them. He was here, with her and beside her. But she didn’t need guarding. Except from her own stupidity.
Her voice trembled like a leaf in a hurricane as she sang the song on autopilot, asking him to say he loved her every moment they were awake. To talk to her of summertime. Talking about California would be good, too. It was summer almost year-round there. She poured her heart and soul into the lines, asking him to say he needed her. He’d never said that. And of course, she needed him to tell her the truth. All of it. He’d kept the full story from her, and he shouldn’t have. That was all she was asking.
He responded in kind, his vibrato shaking as much as hers. He wanted to be her shelter. She had felt so protected surrounded by his arms as they slept. He was asking to be her light, but he’d already been the light that kept her nightmare at bay that night. Maybe that was why she couldn’t sleep anymore. He sang she was safe, that her fears were behind her.
What fears? She’d already betrayed Jeff by falling in love.
It was her turn again. She sang of wanting freedom. Except she didn’t want it. Sheneededit. Aurora hadenslavedherself, cutting her heart off from love once Jeff had died.
Oh.Thosefears. The fear she couldn’t love again. The fear she wasn’t worthy of a second love.
