Don’t let me disappear into this. Not again. Not after losing him. Give me something to hold on to, Frat Boy... Keep me here.
His tiny nod of encouragement and his mouth sucking me to the back of his throat made me lose control. I threw a hand out to steady myself.
I can’t hurt him.
“Oh Gott, Frat Boy, that was…Fuck, so gut.“ I stumbled over the language sections in my brain, tearing down all barriers.
He took one more swallow around my cock buried deep in his throat and I let go. I came so hard I flooded his mouth with my cum.
Nate took it all. He drank it down, then sucked on my slit to draw out every drop I had to give. Then he licked me all over.
Fuck.
No one had ever done that before, and I was…glad about it. We experienced this for the first time together.
“I love your taste, Vee,” he sighed, gazing dreamily at my half-hard cock before running his nose down the length to nuzzle the feathers at my base. “And your scent.” He cursed. You smell so fucking good.”
The more I came to my senses, the more my conscience kicked in.
Holy shit, what have I done?
“Get up, Nate, please.” I grabbed him under his arms and helped him stand, and groaned when he plastered his slick body to mine.
I wanted to drag him into my arms and conquer his mouth again.
But fuck, why the hell did I think it was okay to let him blow me?
Shame flooded my insides like my cum had moments ago—
Don’t even fucking go there.
Then, unbidden, another’s face swam before my eyes.
He’s not coming back and Nate is here and…
He was entirely at my mercy and I? I made him go down on me.
Gods, I had to be the shittiest person on the planet.
I groaned and covered my face with my hands.
“Vee?” Nate’s fingers ran up my forearms. His fingers wrapped around my wrists. I could have resisted—his strength was no match for mine—but I let him pry my hands away.
Every moment I didn’t look at him was wasted. I wanted to stay here in my shower and just look at this man.
What, by the trees, is happening to me?
Nate’s eyes searched my face.
“Are you… Shit, you didn’t want me to do that, did you?” He let go of me and stepped back, hitting the glass door with his back. The panic in his eyes reminded me of a caged animal. “I’m—” His hands dropped to his sides. “I’m so sorry.”
I followed him, caging him even more. Against everything I knew was right, I pulled him into a hug. His cheek pressed into the wet feathers over my pecs as he let me hold him there.
“Don’t apologise,” I whispered. “It’s me who should apologise. I shouldn’t have used you like that.”
“What?” Nate’s eyes flew open and he leaned back. I hated every inch of space he brought between us. It felt wrong to be apart from him.
Unease curled in the pit of my stomach. I’d never taken the lore around my people seriously. People talked, and over the decades and centuries it was more like a game of whisper down the lane than anything. It couldn’t be true. We didn’t—. Nate might have trapped me but that did not make us mates. I refused to accept it.
